Anti Hero

I keep my blinders on tonight
Won't know where we're goin', where we're goin'
The way her cold hands felt in mine
Reminds me I'm still broken, rips me open
She died before we made it to the hospital
I held my mother's body as she cried
And all my life she felt so tall and powerful
But now I was the rock which she relied

After all this time
What a fool I was to think we still had time
When he still had time
In all my life
What a fool I was to think we still had time
But we still have time
There's still time

I was just a child
Her love was like the ocean, like the ocean
Dark and infinite
Cold but ever flowin', still I'm frozen
Ignorance has always been a luxury
But you can't go back to blindness now with all you've seen
And who am I without a man to comfort me?
I guess after all these years, perhaps we'll finally see

In all this time
What a fool I was to think we still had time
When he still had time
In all my life
What a fool I was to think we still had time
There's still time

So don't you cry, don’t you cry, not for me
I ain't the Anti Hero of this story
I force a smile 'cause I'm that kind of sleaze
Just a ghost of the man who I wanted to be

So don't you cry, don’t you cry, not for me
Just let me lie, closed blinds though the morning
Upon a time, was a boy with a dream
Now I'm so fuckin' high, I think I'm starting to see

So don't you cry, don’t you cry, not for me
I'm just a boy who had too much to dream
No, I won't die, I'm just scared, I'm too weak
Still I flirt with that darkness, closing in on me
So don't you cry, don’t you cry, not for me
I lost it all, there ain't nothing to see
I'm in a hell I made special for me
Now I'm so lost, I think I'm starting to see

I think I’m starting to see
I think I’m starting to see, hmm
I think I’m starting to see