Cursed With Patience

I held on so tight, my arms are weak
Feeling like I've been secured to things that I refused to seek
So what good has all of this been? I'm back at the start, irony made complete
Never know I'd be so quick to grieve

I'm so scared, I've never felt like so much was at stake
I'm not one to show my emotions but I couldn't stop fucking crying today
My foundations were built on sand that I saw as a collection of beautiful shells
I neglected the weight of it all, and now I'm sitting alone in a world I built for myself

I saw beauty in the simple days, what the fuck happened to me?
Desensitised to the colours in my array, I didn't know it was causing so much grey
I suppressed all these negative words, afraid abrasiveness would cause the smile to leave my face
But I see erosion all around me
I'm just a tattered flag to wave in the face of dishonesty

I'm so scared, I've never felt like so much was at stake
I'm not one to show my emotions but I feel like I'm constantly about to break
My foundations were built on sand that I saw as a collection of beautiful shells
I neglected the weight of it all, and now I'm sitting alone in a world I built for myself

I convinced myself that I was the one with all of this patience
Constructed my surroundings with the confirmation of what I thought was true

I was wrong
I was so wrong
I was wrong
I was so wrong

Cursed with patience and I paid for it
Cursed with patience and I paid for it
Cursed with patience and I paid for it
Cursed with patience and I paid for it

I've held on so tight my arms are weak
Feeling like I've been secured to things that I refused to seek
Never knew I'd be so quick to grieve

I'm so scared, I've never felt like so much was at stake
I'm losing it, and I'm not preventing it
Cursed with patience and I paid for it