Selfish

The end is far away.
Not getting too much sleep these days.
These things I can't explain.
Just wishing for an early grave,
But they don't understand me
I wanna be selfish

Only reason I'm still alive,
Can't stand to see my mother cry.
I'll suffer through.
Only reason I won't die,
Can't stand the tears in her eyes.
I'll be home soon.

The saddest thing is,
It's the only thing that I want.
I wonder sometimes why
I don't just give up and take my life.
And they have no idea,
That I'm so close to my dying day.
I hate this feeling.
There's no healing

There's no coming back from this hell
(I wish that I could make you see)
(I wish that I could face today)
I want to be free from this