A Musical Apology

F*

[Verse]
        F               A
I didn't mean it when I said I hope
  Dm             F          Bb   
The cable in the elevator snaps 
                 F     C
when you step on board.
           A                    Dm
And I was joking when I said I hope 
you crack your head
         G                       
And get mangled by the downstairs 
         C
revolving doors.
          F               A       
And I was kidding when I said I 
      Dm
hope the Number one-o-three bus
Bb                              F
Hits and makes a pancake out of 
    C
you.


[Chorus]
     Dm         A
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
  Bb                     C     
Isn't it amazing what a woman in 
            F     C
love will do?


[Verse 2]
       F                    A
And I really don't want to see your 
taxi
Dm
On the 59th Street Bridge
     Bb                        
Flip over and crash through the 
 F     C
rail.
            A
And I'd be sad if at the airport
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            Dm
You were mistaken for a local sex 
offender,
 G                                 
Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in 
 C
jail.
      F                     A
And I really don't want to see you 
getting
      Dm                           
Radiation poisoning from the metal 
                   Bb
detector that all passengers
On foreign and domestic flights must
        F       C
 walk through.


[Chorus]
     Dm        A
I'm sorry, forgive me
    Bb            C               
For all the mean things I said to 
F    C
you.


[Bridge]
A                           Dm
You thought I didn't have a temper.
   A                       Dm
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!
       A                           
But I really don't want to see you 
    Dm
dismembered

By the marijuana sniffing dogs,
         G                         
When a simple little nipping would 
     C
suffice, would suffice.


[Verse 3]
         F            A
And I'm sorry when I said I hope
   Dm                              
The flight attendant spills 
                     Bb
scalding hot coffee on your lap as 
you
              F   C
fly away from me
          A
And I'm sorry that I said
    Dm
I hope you break both legs
        G                  C
On the mountain while you ski.
         F         A          
And I'm sorry for all the nasty 
    Dm
things
                         Bb
I said about your mother
                     F           
(Even though we both know they're 
      C
true).


[Chorus]
     Dm        A
I'm sorry, forgive me,
       Dm
I'm swallowing my pride,
              A*           A7*
I'd feel so guilty if you died,
         Bb           C           
Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm still 
     F    Bb F
pissed at you.