Silent Restraint

I see you all
Beyond this pain
I remain trapped
With the monsters in my brain
Please someone break through
Silent restraint

Wish I could write from the heart
And tell you what's wrong
And put this gnawing into words
But the path is blocked by a wall of glass
I scream and it just bounces back

I waste away
As I wait and wait
Just to smile again

So desperate for help that nothing helps
I fail when I try to be my old self
How do I fix it?
How do I get better?
Does anybody have an answer?

I'm sick of feeling like a burden
I'm sick of having no control

I'm sick of always needing help
I'm sick of being afraid of myself

They say, they say
They say: You will smile again
You will smile again
Not in the same way
Not with the same joyful abandon
There will be a barrier between your lips and your eyes
And you'll wonder if they notice, the light that's fading over time

You will smile again
As you try to convince yourself it's real
You will keep forcing it
Until forcing it is all you remember how to feel
You will smile again
For the sake of them
It's just selflessness and depression
Going hand in hand again

I see you all
Beyond this pain
But I remain trapped
With the monsters in my brain

Please someone break through the silent restraint