The Censored Sailor

INTRO:  G F E / F G F / G F G 

C - / C E

B7
I caught a spot of rabies last Fall
            E
While I was roaming through the 
South—
       B7
It was raining cats & dogs and 
every cat and dog
       E              B7
was foaming at the mouth...
       E         B7
I met a wild-eyed spinster on the 
back of a bus
                          E
She asked if there was any part of 
her I'd like to touch
                    B7
When I told her "Yer nuts!" she got 
mad at me
                              E E7 
And lectured on female anatomy...
C B7


E|E|E|E|------|||| 

CHORUS:
A                   D
I got a tight white sailor's suit on
G                         A
I got some business with you on the 
futon
F                           G
If you got the time, honey, I got 
the moolah
   Am    Am7           F      E
I'm not Mr Right, but I am Mr Two 
Wrongs...
A               D
Cardinals with fuchsia feathers
G                   A
Grip their flies and flap together
F                       G
Here comes a bird with a ball on a 
tether
Am             E           Am   
Followed by another and another 
      E
and another
         Am              E        
And the rest of this adventure is 
  Am           … E
CENSODD
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E|E|E|E|------|||| 

B7
Flanagan went a full year without 
bathing
And he reeked like a Hell-born beast
 E


He used to slick his hair back every
 day
            B7        E         B7
With a bear claw and elbow grease
                         E
So I told him "You'll be showered 
with candy and treats
                    B7
If you can knock a piñata off the 
branch of a tree"
                        E
But what I showed him was not a 
pinata, no,
         B7               E    E7
'Twas a beehive, actually...
    C     B7


A7          B7                 E
Thus he was chased by the bees,
        A7                  B7    
They followed him down to the 
   E
creek
    A7           B7
He jumped in the water—
     E
The upshot's he got his
      A7      B7           E E7 C B7
First bath in fifty-two weeks

Middle Kazoo Part:
A D / G A / F G / Am Am7 F E
A D / G A / F G / Am E / Am E / 

E|E|E|E|------|||| 

Am E / Am E

          B7
If yer a wealthy old codger then 
y'better not lodge here
          E
At the Amputated Arms Hotel, pop—
     B7
The man behind the counter, though a
 brute & a bounder
      E           B7             E
Is a milk-sop next to the bell-hop
                      B7
Who'd rather turn you inside oot 
& backwards
Than pamper you, you highfalutin 
E
bastard—
              B7
Ask him for a hand with your bag
           E                B7    
And you are gonna catch a boot in 
          E     E7    C     B7
yer sack, sir!

E|E|E|E|------|||| 

CHORUS:
A                    D
I got a tight white sailor's suit on
G                        A
I got some business with you on the 
futon
F                          G
If you got the time, honey, I got 
the moolah
    Am     Am7       F      E
I'm not Mr Right, but I am Mr Two 
Wrongs...
A             D
Cardinals with fuchsia feathers
G                   A
Grip their flies and flap together
F                       G
Here comes a bird with a ball on a 
tether
Am          E             Am    
Followed by another and another 
       E
and another
Am                       E       
And the rest of this adventure is
     Am      … E
 CENSODD