Tracing Veins

I take nothing from this
I walk away holding air
just barely in my lungs
aspirating blood
from choking on these memories of fantasies
that there will be a light for me

there will be no light in this hollow
there will be no voice for me to follow
past that damage and regret
past the fired I could not set
to tell myself that I'm alive
give me a reason to survive

what does it matter now
if this will ever happen
why would you even care
that I have sunk so low
what does it matter now
if I won't live to see this
why would you even care
when I'm not there to burden you with guilt

tracing veins upon my skin
and holding in my every scream to just a whisper
choked back to just a ghost of a real emotion
and everything's inside
boiling just behind my eyes
everything's inside
boiling just behind my eyes
but they're too dry to open
and you're too blind to notice
but what does it matter now