Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
Science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test tube
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine
Calls her on the phone
Can I take you out to the pictures
Joa, oa, oa, oan?

But as she's getting ready to go
A knock comes on the door

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon her head
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

Back in school again, Maxwell plays the fool again
Teacher gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant
Sce, e, e, ene

She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
So he waits behind
Writing fifty times: I must not be
So-o-o

But when she turns her back on the boy
He creeps up from behind

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon her head (do, do, do, do)
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead

P.C. thirty-one said: We caught a dirty one
Maxwell stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery
Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)
The judge does not agree and he tells them
So, o, o, o

But as the words are leaving his lips
A noise comes from behind

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Came down upon his head
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer
Made sure that he was dead

Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Silver hammer