Uncle Harveys Plane

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Me n' Oliver n' Virgil was at the 
drugstore killin' time,
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when my eyes fell on this magazine.
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and I got To reading this article 
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'bout sky-divin' and parachutin',
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said jumpin outta air-planes was a
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 thing.

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Now being raised down on the farm 
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and always ready for adventure,
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well I knew that I could find a Way.
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Delmer Gill he's got a parachute 
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and Uncle Harvey's got an air-plane,
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so we called the boys together, 
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today's the day,

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Well I found out too late, what 
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Uncle Harvey called an air-plane
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wuttin' nothin but an engine and a
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 wing.
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and I felt my fear begin to rise 
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as delmer packed the parachute,
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'cuz he tol' me I's doing the right 
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thing,

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Ron Mcloughlin shook my hand and Jd 
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strapped me in the harness
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so Tildon brought a jug n' they 
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passed it 'round.
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So I took one look at that 
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parachute and that whisky and that 
airplane
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and I turned that bottle up n' I 
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drank it down.

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Well I was Drunker'n Cooter Jones 
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when they poured me in that plane,
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the engine coughed as I Headed for
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 the clouds.
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but I's sober as a judge when Harvey
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 opened up the door
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and I've never known my heart to 
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beat so loud.

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I screamed, :Harvey! I Can't Do 
this! You and I've known each other 
a very long time,
you been my uncle all my life, to 
ask another human being to jump out 
of an airplane at
this altitude and at this velocity 
is simply ridiculous man."
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at which point, he kicked me out the
 door
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and I wrapped my hands around the 
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landing gear.
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and I was holdin' on real good 
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'til Harvey stepped upon my fingers
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and Virgil heard me scream from 
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way down there.

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well I Thanked God And I  thanked 
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Buddha. I thanked Jesus I thanked 
Judah,
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I thanked Krishna and all the 
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lesser Hindu gods,
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most of all i thanked my good 
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friend Delmer Gill when my parachute
 finally opened
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and I thought, " Hell There Ain't 
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No Use In Being Afraid!"
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I came crashing through that hen 
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house, I scattered chickens, I broke
 eggs
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and then I kissed that ground, I 
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fainted dead away.

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Now friends I been in a few 
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battles n' I been shot at once r' 
twice
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and I damn near been runned over 
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by a train,
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but I never do remember ever being 
so afraid.
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as the day I jumped from Uncle 
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Harvey's plane