Uncle Harvey's Plane

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Me n' oliver n' virgil was at the 
drugstore killin' time,
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When my eyes fell on this magazine.
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And i got to reading this article 
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'bout sky-divin' and parachutin',
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Said jumpin outta air-planes was a
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 thing.

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Now being raised down on the farm 
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and always ready for adventure,
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Well i knew that i could find a way.
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Delmer gill he's got a parachute 
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and uncle harvey's got an air-plane,
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So we called the boys together, 
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today's the day,

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Well i found out too late, what 
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uncle harvey called an air-plane
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Wuttin' nothin but an engine and a
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 wing.
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And i felt my fear begin to rise 
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as delmer packed the parachute,
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'cuz he tol' me i's doing the right 
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thing,

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Ron mcloughlin shook my hand and jd 
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strapped me in the harness
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So tildon brought a jug n' they 
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passed it 'round.
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So i took one look at that 
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parachute and that whisky and that 
airplane
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And i turned that bottle up n' i 
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drank it down.

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Well i was drunker'n cooter jones 
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when they poured me in that plane,
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The engine coughed as i headed for
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 the clouds.
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But i's sober as a judge when harvey
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 opened up the door
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And i've never known my heart to 
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beat so loud.

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I screamed, :harvey! i can't do 
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this!" as he kicked me out the door
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And i wrapped my hands around the 
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landing gear.
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And i was holdin' on real good 
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'til harvey stepped upon my fingers
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And virgil heard me scream from 
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way down there.

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Well i thanked god and delmer gill
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 when my parachute finally opened
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And i thought, " hell there ain't 
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no use in being afraid!"
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I came crashing through that hen 
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house, i scattered chickens, i broke
 eggs
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And then i kissed that ground, i 
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fainted dead away.

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Now friends i been in a few 
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battles n' i been shot at once r' 
twice
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And i damn near been runned over 
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by a train,
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But i never do remember ever being 
so afraid.
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As the day i jumped from uncle 
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harvey's plane