Uncalled For

The Gothic Rangers

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    Won't you light a candle
    And turn off the other lights
    Pull a chair up to the table
    Take the hand that's on your right
    Don't let your hopes be over-raised
    It will or won't occur
    Please free your minds and concentrate
    On those long interred

    I know this is unusual
    For a get-rich seminar
    But we will call up spirits
    Who'll teach us to go far
    They who knew the secret
    Of fortune piled
    Like Carnegie, Frick, or Gould
    Hush, I think I feel one now

    Here's my skull
    With dried brains in it
    You can set it on the mantle
    Or hang it like a skillet
    Here's my femur
    Don't let it go to waste
    You can use it for a poker
    In your fancy fireplace
    You've taken everything
    Might as well take it all
    Ere I return to the underworld
    A curse down I call
    May all of your dreamtimes
    Be twisted and bent
    And filled with night terrors
    Until you repent
    Repent of your greediness
    And scheming hard hearts
    I call down this imprecation
    Of brimstone and sparks

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    Won't you please forgive me
    For this bad spirit's words
    He must have caught the slip-stream
    Of others more preferred
    I promise this is worth it
    Just gaze at this great house
    I've learned so much from moguls
    Who are departed now

    Don't be abashed, my friends
    By an unexpected glitch
    Sometimes the summoning
    Brings a spiteful, vagrant witch
    Let us breathe and try again
    To call the giants of old
    Who broke the backs of strikers
    Hush, something is in the cold

    Here's my ribcage
    For your evening merriment
    Play it just like a xylophone
    Even fascists need to vent
    And here's my long finger bone
    I don't need it no more
    But I'm pointing it at you
    And at what you stand for
    I cry havoc on you
    On your fetish of lucre
    Shall I tell you what I know
    About your own spirit future?
    You request robber barons
    Those philanthropists, ha, ha
    They gave to the public
    What they stole from my fist
    They built art museums
    Libraries, schools for free
    My wages were redirected
    Half my life was garnisheed

    O, foul spirit, be-gone!
    Leave us to our own pursuits
    How dare you treat us guilty
    For desiring profit fruits

    Silence! table-tipper
    Shut your waxy, squinchin' lips
    And listen to my soul a-wailin'
    As music from the crypt

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