There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy
But he lived in a cage the size of his thumb
And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks
He galloped around until hit by a car

Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird just to remind myself I'll never fly
Sometimes I burn my arms with cigarettes just to pretend I won't scream when I die
Sometimes I can't wait to come down with cancer

At least then I'll get to watch tv all day
And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers even if all my questions are taken away
If my life was as long as the moon's, I'd still be jealous of the sun
If my life lasted only one day, I'd still be drunk by noon