Elixir

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a rainy Monday night
They settled in a cozy inn with clientele uptight
But we all knew the formula that filled the place with cheer
Pint after pint we cured them all with frosty mugs of beer

And our elixir it was a sixer
The foundation of every social mixer
We've learned that drinkin' it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a dandy Tuesday night
We've met these lovely ladies who made us feel alright
In the company of men we drank some whiskey, rum and gin
But that's the wrong solution if with ladies you want in

And our elixir it was a spritzer
Don't laugh the sparkling beverages a fixture
We've learned that drinkin' it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a desperate Wednesday night
We've spent so much on lager that our coin was running tight
So little cash in had we thought we are out of luck
We need a plan to maximize our drinking bang-for-buck

And our elixir it was hard liquor
Nothing quite like it to get you drunker quicker
We've learned that drinkin', it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a dauntless Thursday night
We tried most of their alcohols and they were feeling trite
The barkeep says if you feel brave, I got a drink for you
But it might blind or kill you or remove an old tattoo

And our elixir it was a mixture
Don't know what but my tongue it has a blister
We've learned that drinkin', it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on an angry Friday night
Full of piss and vinegar and spoiling for a fight
So we found a small speakeasy that crowded it's mixology
But we opted for a barroom brawl with no apology

And our elixir was punching hipsters
Knock them out then make time with their sultry sisters
We've learned that drinkin', it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a randy Saturday night
When we asked these girls to join us they rebuffed us with a slight
The ladies didn't swoon at us when we first got it started
But they were swaying dangerously when we all departed

And our elixir that'll fix her
Just add alcohol and then you'll be betwixt her
We've learned that drinkin', it sure beats thinkin'
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all

The pirates went a-drinkin' on a shameful Sunday night
Seven nights of drinking left this feeling quite contrite
We realized our actions ranged from bad to flat depraved
So we started looking for a way to get us saved

And our elixir (and our elixir) it wasn't scripture (it wasn't scripture)
It was grog followed by grog just for a kicker (just got a kicker)
We've learned that drinkin', it sure beats thinkin' (it sure beats thinkin')
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all (cures them all)
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all (cures them all)
Life is full of obstacles the elixir cures them all (ah, hah)