Punch You In The Jeans

The Lonely Island

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    These days, a lot a cats is outta line
    Seems to me, like they need to get punched
    Yeah, but where you gonna punch 'em?
    Yo, the choice is obvious

    I'll punch you in the jeans, I'll punch you in the jeans
    This is not a case of man vs. machine
    You think that you're safe, thought you got away clean?
    I'll roll up on you smooth and punch you in the jeans

    I got my fists clenched, gonna throw a haymaker
    Rockin your slacks from here to J-maica
    Shake in your boots, cause I'm the earthquaker
    Bringin those jeans 'round here was a mistake-ah

    I gotta vendetta, it's against your jeans (yeah)
    Gonna put my knuckles up against the seams
    They can be on your legs or on the clothesline
    But when I see the zipper and cloth, it's go time!

    And I'm zeroed in, I got the tunnel vision
    Gonna cover you in shit like a ton of pigeons
    Man I hate your jeans, I'm gonna bruise that denim
    It really doesn't matter as long as you're in 'em

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    Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before
    Best believe this is not a metaphor
    Better watch your back, cause we're on the creep
    And we won't stop 'til your jeans are six feet deep

    Man I'll murder your jeans, I'll feed 'em to the fishes
    Heres what I'd do, if I had three wishes
    Punch your jeans, on all three counts
    It would bring me satisfaction in large amounts

    YO~! If I had three wishes I would do the same
    We see eye to eye in this jean punch game
    I'd lay 'em in a field where there's chemical sprayin
    But I'd punch 'em first (yo that goes without sayin) yeah

    Acid washed pleats or a nifty cuff
    It's just another jean for my fist to stuff
    Throwin fistacuffs, eat pants like bag lunches
    Jeans pronounced dead (Cause of death?) Hecka punches

    Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before
    Best believe this is not a metaphor
    You got somethin to say, we got the proper retorts
    Beat your jeans so bad that they'll wish they were shorts

    Gonna revise your Levi's with physical harm
    Put divets in the rivets with my physical arm
    Gonna beat those jeans, gonna dip 'em in slime
    Turn your 501's into 499's
    When I punch a jean I like to imagine a face
    The fly is the nose and the balls are the base of the face
    You got taste and it shows my man
    God damn your jean brand got me throwin my hands
    Gonna go back in time, find the man who made jeans
    And choke him to death, if you know what I mean
    Yo I know what you mean, so keep your jeans on a hush
    And breakout, before you get bumrushed

    Yo we'll punch your jeans, we've said it before
    Best believe this is not a metaphor
    So take off your jeans, and reverse the curse
    Cause we the best jean punchers in the universe

    Song details

    Composition: Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg

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