Regret

Awkward and sensual
A drunk intellectual
I ate your shadow for breakfast
Now it won't let me go

Social obligations--Remember me?
When I helped you lay the bricks
Mason--Tending sheep

I'm just another blurry face in the background of someone's home video
And as far as pity goes
I call this city home in vain
Every promise I broke along the way--ashamed to live alone

Closed narcissistic textbook for all the right reasons
But still left shook
'Cuz there's nothing left in this town
Spit at my reflection because I left you all down

Maybe I've searched for something I could never find?
Now I think every moment how I've wasted all my time
And I'm screaming out...
Don't let me down.

I got a sour grape syndrome--deserves its' own attendant
With a smiley face and a silver pendant
I penned it
But I forgot logic in the backseat of the taxi
And I'm straddling Earth fighting the waves of the Black Sea

I had the craving to crave of living my own life
But in this labyrinth maze of wrong shit is half right
Now I'm baked out colors and pasted notes
And I awake to the mother of my wasted hope

I hope my brain can cope
With another painful stroke
Of a brush with paint that flows
So deep with the veins that I'm dosed

Crumbling over the memories where they so closely linger
Lost in the calm of the winter
Marked by tasteless jokes

Was a patient bloke, but my patience broke
And I'm draped in the foam of salty seas
With waves that choke

This damned disease, I know
It makes me dream of better histories glittering with gleaming gold

I wish I could take it all back
Every mistake
Every thought that I've ever had
Erased and gone with a running fog in a flash
But it's never easy as that
When dreams are defeated and dragged to the ground
I'll scream to clouds now
Nothing lasts

Maybe I've searched for something I could never find?
Now I think every moment how I've wasted all my time
And now there's nothing here so I've left it all behind

And I'm screaming out
Don't let me down...