Hermione

Who's that girl that's always first to raise her hand?
- I know who!
Her name's Hermione and, boy, she makes me mad
- Ugh, me too!
That girl is ugly, and frumpy, disgusting!
Looks like she hasn't washed her hair in three whole weeks

You know, what kind of name is Hermione, anyway?
- It took me like four years to learn how to pronounce it!
You know, she has stupid hair!
- Yeah!

What kind of name is Hermione?
It makes me think of something whiny
- Like cats!
She's already in Arithmancy
I really hate that she's smarter than me
- Ugh, me too!

Have you heard that her parents are dentists?
- Dentists?
That means they pick around in dirty Muggles' teeth
- Ew!
But she hangs around that gorgeous Harry Potter
- I love him!
And that other red head boy -
- What's his name?
Roy?
- No, Roger
Ralph?
You know, who cares
- Whatever

What kind of name is Hermione?
- I dunno
It's a made up name I guarantee
- Mm-hum Mm-hum
Always sucking up in History
Do you think she stole the answer key?
- I bet she did!

What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermione?

Do you think she likes Ron Weasley?
I can't believe she got on our CD
I'm gonna drink a cup of tea
Can we end this song, I have to pee
If more things rhymed with Hermione
This would be a longer melody
But not much else rhymes with Hermione

… That little witch!