One Summers Day

They married in the civic hall, avoiding all the rigmarole
A prick of a man we liked to call ‘cock-a-doodled-andy'
Drank a pint o’ ‘truth-be-told’, called the bride a filthy moll
There the party lost control & rioted ‘til sunday.

Toward the quay they went, spewed all o'er the pavement
Torched the halls o’ parliament & smashed up all the stores
The crusty invalids, the men, the women, the rusty lids
All played a game o' busty-heads & settled up old scores

Our fathers never taught us nowt can fall into a fist
Our mothers never told us there'd be days like this!
Now we're screamin’ at the coppers with a belly full o piss
What a helluva way to celebrate yer day

Oh I love you so, I hope I get to let you know before they lock my silly arse away
Oh I love you so, don't forget to write me tho' & I'll return to you one summers day

"No bottles! No blades allowed" shouted father hugh macleod
Who kissed his beads, blessed the crowd & rolled upboth his sleeves
Soon I found me on the toes o' blackie anderson

Who promised he would put me on me arse before he leaves

He gouged an eye, he took an ear to match the one he took the year
I took away his mary dear & made her all me own
The right, the left, the hook, he played the fox, I played the chook
And I carved him like a turkey to the bone

Sticks, stones, broken bones, bleedin' hearts & broken homes
All screamin' for the preacher wi' his holy wine & wafer
Still the pipes o' war howled away & way before thedust had even settled
We were in the mornin' paper.

By the merc'n'tile the mob were near collapse
When casey barred the door & kicked the head off all the taps
And we pissed away the pain of all the punches and the slaps
'Til the wallopers came to sweep us off the bay.