The Reaper & Tam McCorty

Tam he woke tae find a shadow by the bed
Blamed it on the vapors still beleaguerin' his head
Scrubbed his chops & dragged an oily bug rake through his hair
And wiped the mirror tae find the bogey mimickin' his stare

He boilt the jug tae quench his mug & baked a lump o' toast
Hid behind the racin' pages from the hoary ghost
"Awfy ghostie if yer here tae make me dead
Spare me life & bother me wife or Mother-in-law instead!"

"Tam McCorty I'm not here to make you cry
I know youre just a broken man wi' longing in his eye
I'll say my say & go my way a-carving through the rye
Tam McCorty, its not your day to die."

"By the way ye've hung yer tools o' trade & mantle I can tell
Ye willnae leave until ye've seen me safely intae hell
So follow me down the 'Horse & Crown' of liquor I'm sae fond
I'll drink meself tae death & haunt the witches from beyond."

They drank to fallen heroes, they spat & cursed the Queen
They argued o'er 'Black Caviar' - The finest ever seen?
They smoked cigars & played at cards for pots o' Gilbeys Gin
Roarin' as the fiery liqour, it spilled all down their chin.

They staggered home along the tracks & pissed against a post
The dogs a' barkin' madly, all as though they'd seen a ghost
"Oh take me now I beg you, pick yer mark & pick it well
I'm tired o' livin' & there I think I hear the hounds o' HELL!"

Death threw his cloak across him where he passed out in his chair
And whispered in a frosty tone directly in his ear
"Best you learn to live again, forgive yerself yer past
For when you see me next Tam, it'll be your last."