Art Carney's Dream

in a dream about you, i snuck
passed st. peter and the
pearly gate, and then the alarm went off,
and you were
warned, 'cos the sign flashed "second rate" -
with my ears all full of wax and my hair greasy and
crawling with lice, i ran over
and hunkered down and hid
there behind the tree of life - i saw the humble and the
meek passing by the proud and important, but i kept
my distance from them 'cos i smelled like ed norton and
i kept cutting my feet on the blades of sharp diamond
grass, and all the sick and indecent things i'd done went
by in just a flash - my singed beard caught the sweat, the
tears, the blood, the crud, and the saliva -
i had a mouth full of dirty sores and vincent's angina -
got this feeling you and all the people knew all along
that i was hiding over there, with my filthy little past and
my dirty underwear

then i caught sight of you
and your beauty broke my heart
i hung back in the deep shadows
'cos i was stinking to high heavens
well what could i do, your beauty broke my heart
wanted to crawl back in my man-hole then
'cos i was stinking to high heaven

well i admired the fine clothes of
all the saints that were
passing me by, in their pretty chiffon
gowns, their wings
and their silk suits and ties -
their language was a foreign tongue,
maybe latin or greek but all the prayers
that i
whispered there to you were stupid,
obscene and weak -
then i got this idea to cover myself
in a thorny bush
disguise and laying low i crept
along the shores of the river of life -
i saw a wondrous city of pure crystal
with it's streets all made of gold and then i smoked a
camel cigarette and shivered there in the cold -
i turned around and saw a beautiful mansion,
all going up in flames -
there was a stone sign in the front yard, and on it
someone had carved my name and the angels rolled out a
fire hose, they were tryin' to save the place - i felt they
could probably use my help, but i didn't dare show my
face - and when the smoke had cleared i cried out when i saw
that everything was lost - there was no mansion anymore
just a single wooden cross

and then an angel tapped me on the shoulder, he said
"boy, you sure do smell like sin and
this place is pretty crowded
but i think we can squeeze you in"

then i caught sight of you
and your beauty broke my heart
i looked at you
and your beauty broke my heart
oh, what to do now
oh, what to do now
don't know what to do now
'cause your beauty broke my heart now…