But it's a troublesome thought trying to Reconcile the differences between my actions and What I claim to believe Between my actions and what I believe I can't seem to escape the fear of never being good enough My vices only weigh me down Like an anchor fixed deep in hell I've traversed the wastelands that judgment brings I was born with blood on my head And I've been drowning in it ever since Some would call it spoiled conviction But all I know is that I'm depressed A victim of self-defeat with a lot of regret It's not as easy as it seemed once before to simply Maintain my innocence This familiar misery Overwhelmed by catastrophe Has left no place for peace No relief, no reprieve, no release No comfort Can console me now A reminder that I'm lost and abandoned Was I forgotten about? I'm sick of unanswered questions I've grown exhausted From repetitious failure Will I always lack the discipline to Guard myself and withstand temptation? Guilty conscience, strip me bare I'll beat myself up until there isn't a will to live Righteously Repentance is absent Because I'm too busy letting the devil get the best of me So I welcomed a heavy heart From the burden of the sins I never thought You forgave Misunderstanding caused a fear of mistakes