Intro:

        C9   Db9  C9    Db9  [2X]
        / / / /   / / / /

        (spoken:) You tied up, you better stay tied up, 'cause it's cheaper
                  to keep her - this is from T, who says:

              C7
        It's cheaper to keep her
              F7
        It's cheaper to keep her

Verse 1:

         C7
        When your little girl makes you mad
         F7
        And you get an attitude and pack your bags
         G7
        Five little children that you're leavin' behind
         F7
        Son, you're gonna pay some alimony or do some time

Chorus:

                          C7
        That's why it's cheaper to keep her (1: help me say it, y'all)
              F7                            (2: everybody sing along with me)
        It's cheaper to keep her (it's cheaper to keep her)
             G7
        [1: When you get through starin']        that judge in the face
        [2: By the time you get through lookin']
                F7
        You're gonna want to cuss the whole human race
                          C7
        That's why it's cheaper to keep her (it's cheaper to keep her)
        Eb7
           [2: It's cheaper to keep her] (it's cheaper to keep her)
                C7
        (It's cheaper, it's cheaper, it's cheaper, it's cheaper)
        (It's cheaper to keep her)

Verse 2:

        You didn't pay but two dollars to bring the little girl home
        Now you're about to pay two thousand to leave her alone
        You see another woman out there and you want to make a change
        She ain't gonna want you 'cause you won't have a damn thing

[repeat chorus]

Verse 3:

        I know you think the grass is greener
        Way over on the other side
        When that judge gives you that dirty look
        You may as well put your money in mama's pocketbook

Coda [background voices continue to fade]:

                          C7
        That's why it's cheaper to keep her (it's cheaper to keep her)
                              Eb7
        It costs too much to leave her alone, yeah
                     C7
        I know it's cheaper to keep her
                                     Eb7
        'Cause you're gonna pay some alimony if you leave home
                             C7
        I tell y'all - it's cheaper to keep her - all the fellows I know
                are talkin' about it
              Eb7
        It's cheaper to keep her, I gotta tell you