The Good Book

Bb                                
Life is like an ocean voyage and 
   F
our bodies are the ships
C                                 
And without a moral compass we 
   A            Dm    Dm/C
would all be cast adrift
      Bb                           
So to keep us on our bearings, the 
F
Lord gave us a gift
C7                                
And like most gifts you get, it 
    C
was a book

  F                              
I only read one book, but it's a 
Bb
good book, don't you know
  C7                               
I act the way I act because the 
                 F
Good Book tells me so
     F               F7/Eb     
If I wanna known how to be good, 
       Bb/D             Bbm/D
it's to the Good Book that I go
         C7                        
'Cos the Good Book is a book and it
    F
 is good and it's a book
  F                                
I know the Good Book's good because
     Bb
 the Good Book says it's good
            C7                     
I know the Good Book knows it's 
             F
good because a really good book 
would
              F              F7   
You wouldn't cook without a 
         Bb               Bbm
cookbook and I think it's understood
              C7                
You can't be good without a Good 
                 F
Book 'cos it's good and it's a book
And it is good for cookin'

Dm                                
I tried to read some other books, 
      A
but I soon gave up on that
    Bb                           
The paragraphs ain't numbered and 
      F              C
they complicate the facts
  A                           
I can't read Harry Potter 'cos 
         Dm
they're worshipping false gods and 
that
    G                         
And Dumbledore's a poofter and 
        C
that's bad, 'cos it's not good
   Dm                         A
Morality is written there in simple 
white and black
       Bb                          
I feel sorry for you heathens, got 
    F               C
to think about all that
 A                             
Good is good and evil's bad and 
  Dm
goats are good and pigs are crap
       Bb                        
You'll find which one is which in 
      F
the Good Book, 'cos it's good

And it's a book, and it's a book
  Dm                            
I had a cat, she gave birth to a 
 A
litter
    Bb                             
The kittens were adorable and they 
 F              C
made my family laugh
    A                        
But as they grew they started 
      Dm
misbehavin'
       G                           
So I drowned the little fuckers in 
    C
the bath
           A                   
When the creatures in your care 
             Dm
start being menaces
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    G                              
The answers can be found right 
     C
there in Genesis!
C7
Genesis, Chapter 6, Verse 5-7!

G
Swing your partner by the hand
C
Have a baby if you can
D
But if the voices your head
Say to sacrifice your kid
G
To satiate your loving God's
C
Fetish for dead baby blood
D
It's simple faith, the Book demands
So raise that knife up in your hand!

  F                                
Before the Good Book made us good, 
          Bb
there was no good way to know
     C                             
If a thing was good or not that 
      F
good or kind of touch and go
   F              F7             
So God decided he'd give writing 
Bb         Bbm
allegoric prose a go
    C7                           
And so he wrote a book and it was 
                  F
generally well-received

    Bb                          
The Telegraph said, "This God is 
     F              C
reminiscent of the Norse."
    Bb                             
The Times said, "Kind of turgid, 
    F                  C
but I liked the bit with horses."
    A                              
The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, 
  Dm
a violent tour de force
       G                           
If you only read one book this 
       C
year, then this one is a book
          D
And it is good, and it's a book!"


  G
Swing your daughter by the hand
    C
But if she gets raped by a man
     D
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!

   Em                          
If you just close your eyes and 
            B
block your ears
         C                         
To the accumulated knowledge of the
 G                 D
 last two thousand years
     B                             
Then morally, guess what? You're 
      Em
off the hook
          A                      
And thank Christ you only have to 
          D
read one book



Dm
Just because the book's contents
     A
Were written generations hence
Dm
By hairy desert-dwelling gents
A
Squatting in their dusty tents
Em
Just because what Heaven said
B
Was said before they'd leavened 
bread
Em
Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read
B
Doesn't mean that we should need
C
When manipulating human genes
G
To alleviate pain and fight disease
C
When deciding whether it's wrong or 
right
G
To help the dyin' let go of life
D
Or stop a pregnancy when it's
Just a tiny blastocyst

B                                 
There's no reason why we should 
     Em
take a look
D            C
At any other book
G/B
But the Good Book
A
'Cause it's good
And it's a book
D
And it's a book
And it's quite good!

G                G7/F
Good is good and evil's bad
C/E                      Cm/E
And kids get killed when God gets 
mad
D                       G         
And you'd better take a good look
D G