Ever since the days of skulls and crossbones
I've been known as Kaptain Kidd
Every mama and papa keeps his kids home
All because of the things I did

Patch on m' eye
Boots to my thigh
A pirate am I

Now most of m' boys still wear their red bandanas
Though we were thinkin' of switchin' to green berets
We're fightin' men and pure Americana
A product of the working class malaise

Patch on m' eye
Boots to my thigh
A pirate am I

The CIA and all the black marias
They're supposed to be so bad and rough and stiff
Yeah, but they're all run by corporate privateers
And they all think that piracy's a myth

But my swabbies make the plumbers look like schoolboys
And we'd pulverize them eggheads down at Rand
A bone beneath your boot makes such a cool noise
I'm hopin' all you poofies understand

Patch on m' eye
Boots to my thigh
A pirate am I
Yeah, they call me the Kaptain
The Kaptain, the Kaptain, Kaptain