First Baptist Bar And Grill

A
Well, the church burned down and no 
one knew
         D
What the Pentecost Baptists was 
gonna do
    A
The Sunday brimstone got so dadgum 
hot
   E
It burned up a church bus in the 
parkin' lot
     A
In a panic the reverend Dr. White
D
Called up an ex-member than hadn't 
lived right
   A
He owned Joe's beer joint right 
across the fence
         E
It's the same Joe's he'd preached 
against

[Verse 2]
          A
He said I don't really want to be a 
hypocrite
        D
I got a Sunday school class that's 
about to s**t
          A
We're all excited about revival week
    E
And moved by the spirit so to speak
             A
With all the souls we saved and the 
money we spent
   D
We thought God told us to sell that 
tent
        A
I got a famous evangelist supposed 
to come
         E
And done run out of chairs, will you
 loan us some?

[Verse 3]
         A
Joe says hell you can just use the 
whole dang place
D
A9 on the jukebox "Amazing Grace"
        A
I ain't supposed to open because of 
them blue laws
          E
But we'll open tonight if it's 
alright with y'all
              A
Preacher said well I reckon that'd 
be OK
    D
The good Lord works in mysterious 
ways
            A
I was gonna talk about Joshua, 
Judges and Ruth
Continúa después del anuncio
      E
And I reckon I can do it from the DJ
 booth

[Chorus 1]
       A
At the First Baptist Bar and Grill
         D
It's the only church in the bible 
belt that
E
smells like a whiskey still
         A
When the sinners finish one more 
round
D
We'll have dinner on the ground
    A             E
And go inside and hell [pause]
                  A
pray we don't get killed

[Verse 4]
    A
The Evangelist came with a 
well-dressed choir
     D
They showed up around happy hour
A
Looked around the joint and didn't 
take it real well
         E
said the White ministry has gone to 
hell
A
Ms. Mills that taught youth Sunday 
school
        D
And two deacons in the back room 
shootin' pool
     A
Were sharin' the Lord with a Jim 
Beam rep
        E
Who was teachin' Ms. Mills some line
 dance steps

[Verse 5]
         A
Reverend White was readin' from the 
book of Luke
     D
To a tall, drunk trucker about to 
puke
        A
He had John 3:16 memorized
          E
Tryin' to dry him out to get him 
baptised
     A
The evangelist yelled about the 
lights and the beer
     D
Said White you can't save any souls 
in here
     A
This place ain't nothin' but a den 
of sin
          E
Ain't the kind of place Baptists 
ought to be in
              A
Preacher said well we don't really 
need y'all here
    D
You didn't do a very good job last 
year
     A
Only saved one sinner, that's Todd 
McGuire
             E
And he's the little son of a b***h 
that set my church on fire
      A
Joe's beer joint has done been 
revived
     D
Only been here an hour and I done 
saved five.
A
Sure it's got mirrors and a big 
dance floor
      E
But I finally found the flock God 
called me for.

[Chorus 2]
       A
At the First Baptist Bar and Grill
         D
It's the only church in the bible 
belt
     E
that smells like a whiskey still
      A
Not a stained glass window anywhere 
in site,
       D
Just a blood-stained floor and neon 
lights,
        A               E
And the communion wine    [PAUSE]
          A
is always chilled.

[Verse 6]
      A
We're here every Sunday;  We're 
livin' large;
          D
We're the only church with a cover 
charge.
           A
And if you don't like our doctrine
                           E
and think we ain't devout,   [PAUSE]

We'll have our bouncer throw your 
butt out …
       A             D   E     A
Of the First Baptist Bar   and Grill