Shitty Golfer

 G                   G7
I'm a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
C                                 G
I've been out there hackin' every day of my life
C                             G
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
A                                     D                 D7  (drag the pick)
and this new taylormade driver didn't make me any better

 G                         G7
Man, I hit 'em fat and I hit 'em thin
 C                                G
I roll 'em in the bunker's man, I hit 'em again
C                              G          E
Slice 'em in the bushes, crank 'em in a creek
A                       D                   G
I popped that sucker up and hooked it out on the street

[Chorus]
C              G
Yeah, I'm 245 right down the middle
D                        G
and I'll miss the green, to the left just a little
C                    G
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
A                          D
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
C                                    G            E
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
A               D           G
You can put me down for a five

[Verse 2]
  G                       G7
Hey, I'm a shitty golfer, most of us are
C                              G
But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
C                           G            E
What else you gonna do when your out of town
        A                               D             D7
and you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round

  G                           G7
Man, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
     C                       G
and one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
C                      G      E
If I live long enough to be 88
A              D                G
I think I'll celebrate it by shooting my age

[Chorus]
C              G
Yeah, I'm 245 right down the middle
D                        G
and I'll miss the green, to the left just a little
C                    G
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
A                          D
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
C                                    G            E
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
A               D           G
You can put me down for a five
 E       A               D             G
Oh yeah you can put me down for a five