Shitty Golfer

 G                   G7
I'm a shitty golfer, you can ask my 
wife
C                                 
I've been out there hackin' every 
G
day of my life
C                             G
I got the shorts and all the plaid 
sweaters
A                                   
  D                 D7  (drag the 
pick)
and this new taylormade driver 
didn't make me any better

 G                         G7
Man, I hit 'em fat and I hit 'em 
thin
 C                                
I roll 'em in the bunker's man, I 
G
hit 'em again
C                              G 
Slice 'em in the bushes, crank 
         E
'em in a creek
A                       D        
I popped that sucker up and 
           G
hooked it out on the street

[Chorus]
C              G
Yeah, I'm 245 right down the middle
D                        G
and I'll miss the green, to the left
 just a little
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C                    G
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all 
together
A                          D
Hit that son of a bitch right up 
there in the leather
C                                 
If you call that good, and let me 
   G            E
press on the side
A               D           G
You can put me down for a five

[Verse 2]
  G                       G7
Hey, I'm a shitty golfer, most of us
 are
C                              G
But we carry our clubs in the back 
of our cars
C                           G    
What else you gonna do when your 
        E
out of town
        A                        
and you need to waste a whole day 
       D             D7
and shoot another round

  G                           G7
Man, I played Augusta, and I played 
Pebble Beach
     C                       G
and one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
C                      G      E
If I live long enough to be 88
A              D          
I think I'll celebrate it by 
      G
shooting my age

[Chorus]
C              G
Yeah, I'm 245 right down the middle
D                        G
and I'll miss the green, to the left
 just a little
C                    G
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all 
together
A                          D
Hit that son of a bitch right up 
there in the leather
C                                 
If you call that good, and let me 
   G            E
press on the side
A               D           G
You can put me down for a five
 E       A               D       
Oh yeah you can put me down for a
      G
 five