Feminine Hygiene

A
I was watch'n TV with my buddy 
Stevie,
        E
 when I saw the strangest thing.
        D
It was so compelling a woman selling
A                  E
 Maxi Pads that had wings.
A
I turned to channel three and what 
did I see,
 E
a woman who looked real rich.
       D
She was liv'in on a hill and pitch'n
 Vagisil
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 for the special feminine itch.
      A
So I tried once more and I turned to
 channel four,
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I was shocked I must confess.
   F#m                   D
A gal who was chunky said when she's
 smell'n funky
         A               E
she just squirts it with FDS.



              D                
Well it's on every station it's 
      E
plug'n up the nation
       A               D
 with feminine hygiene ads.
D                         E
Douches and ointments and OBG 
appointments
     A                       D
 and don't forget your Maxi Pads.
                Bm       E
Cause they have wings to fly,
 Bm             E                 
 lets give it a try, for feminine 
  A
hygiene.


A
Well a mama and daughter walk'in by 
the water

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 E
 somebody don't feel fresh.
D
Monistat Seven put her back in 
heaven
          A                   E
 cause the yeast really makes a 
mess.
A
A middle aged debutant look'n for a 
lubricant,
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 they still can hear her voice.
     D
 Her mama done told her when a woman
 gets older
    A                  E
 the muffin downstairs don't stay 
moist.


           D                   E
Well it's on every station an over 
saturation
     A               D
 of feminine hygiene games.
D                      E
Creams and lotions and all her 
emotions
     A                D
 and all the water she retains.
         Bm         E
It's so insane this game,
Bm               E               
 there's to many names for 
   A
feminine hygiene.


A   Bm      C#m       D         
                       Why do we 
 E
have to view,
A                F#m
 all that stuff girls go thru.
D            E              A
It's really got my stomach reeling

.
A  Bm     C#m       D          
                     Lets give 
     E
those ads we see
  A       F#m
  a hysterectomy
        D                   
 or at least, make them more 
 E
appealing.



           D                    E
Cause there on every station an over
 saturation
    A                D
 of feminine hygiene ads.
D                        E
Douches and ointments an OBG 
appointments,
 A
 Creams and lotions and all her 
emotions.
D
Summers Eve and Massengill
 E
 and if you itch use Vagisil
A
Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X,
D                   E
 Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an 
Replens
A
Motrin and Midol for when your 
suicidal,
D                     E
 Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this 
a pad for that
A                    D
The list goes on and on.

          Bm       E
It's so insane to me
Bm           E
 it's on my TV
         A
Feminine Hygiene
A    A/G#     F#m
Oh!    Oh!     Oh!
D           E                A
It's on my TV it's Feminine Hygiene

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