The Thing With Me

The thing with me (aside from struggling to get to sleep)
Is that this doesn't come that easily, despite the past and all the history
I struggle with the continuity or I lack a certain sense of subtlety
I like to finish last, and I kinda chase the past
Oh yes, and see

The thing with me, is that I often think I'm in too deep
Compulsively and, yes, obsessively, maintain it's down to lack of scenery
Or maybe just because I'm la-hazy! Content with an absence of bravery
The malison of art, is knowing when to stop, and knowing how to start

And the thing with me (besides my mental health discrepancies)
Is that I feel I'm a catastrophe, I break down when there's an emergency
Riddled with envy & with jealousy, I've learnt to be content with misery
I'll always lose the plot. I cannot join the dots
Oh yes indeed

The thing with me, is that I'm often contradictory
I'll like to try to see things differently, I'm often left in such a quandary
I think I think way too contrarily, so I'll share my thoughts quite sparingly
My cheeks are full of dents, from sitting on the fence

And I don't know how to deal with when it stings
So I'll think too much of funny things

The thing with me, is that I find it hard to do it properly
It's not that I'll just wander aimlessly, or that I have no sense of decency
It's hard for me to take it seriously, the problem's thinking too destructively
I'll live it in my mind, and it'll make me less inclined
and so you see

The thing with me, is that I lack originality
Perhaps I just have no integrity, and maybe steal too much from royalty
But it's in my blood, this trace of Mercury, it's been there since I was in infancy
I should just let it drop, but it's getting it to stop

And I don't know how to deal with feeling sad, And I think that I'm well and truly mad

And I don't know how to deal with being wrong, All I know is this is taking way too long

The thing with me (besides the things I mentioned previously)
Is I enjoy too much of my own company, cut ties like a social vasectomy
I'm always struggling financially, but I'd rather live my life romantically
Passion over paid. I guess it's how I'm made

And the thing with me, if I could say one more thing finally
I live & think a bit too lexically, obsessed with words and vocabulary
And I always eat so damn unhealthily, I'm on the cusp of plain obesity
And I find it hard to breathe so that's the thing with me, now what's the deal with you?