Diary #1 - Karma

Yeah, yeah, ah
Huh

Daddy wasn't a man, so daddy didn't raise one
I turned into a bitch by the time I was in grade one
Bitches crave attention, I savored it like it's fine wine
Bitches write diaries and I just made mine rhyme

My ex is tellin' the town that I cheated, I swear that I ain't even cheat
I guess I could give you the truth about her if she want to lie about me
I was the one who broke up, so I let her decide what the narrative reads
But, shit, this is only my diary, I can be honest, it's just me to me

You're the only girl that I ever loved, and I love you the same today
You walkin' into my dad's funeral is the image I always replay
Shit, after that, I went crazy, I left everybody and moved to LA
You said it felt like I made it then left you, but you know that wasn't the case
You said I'm usin' my dad dyin' as an excuse to not give a fuck about you
I got in my feelings and told myself maybe that's true
I gotta man up and be through
Playin' the victim, so I didn't think about that, I really said: Fuck my dad
Dad is the reason I'm weak, then he died, and he just made me weaker, fuck all that
But why am I makin' decisions based off your opinions? We don't even talk
I never said a bad word about you, and you tell everybody I'm lost
Every so often my sister is spiralin', wonderin' what that would do
I can't even help her, I'm forcing myself not to think about it then blame it on you
My sister be noticin' signs, we go through his stuff
I'm jealous 'cause she feel a tap from an angel
I don't feel shit, I can't even picture him
Feelin' nothing is worse than it feelin' painful
I don't know why you still got such a fucking impact on me
I'm the one who broke you first
You the one who broke me down and broke the way I think about myself
Which is worse?

Daddy wasn't a man, so daddy didn't raise one
I turned into a bitch by the time I was in grade one
Bitches crave attention, I savored it like it's fine wine
Bitches write diaries and I just made mine rhyme

My ex is tellin' the town that I cheated, I swear that I ain't even cheat
I guess I could give you the truth about her if she want to lie about me
If you had a goal to make people think that I'm the piece of shit who broke you
I don't see the point in lyin' about what I did, just say what I did do

Label money I was pourin' through
Tell 'em how you never got a gift
Tell 'em how I never spoiled you
Tell 'em how you saw me every chance
Encouragin' fans to chase their dreams and help the crew
But I never once supported you
Had a dream to be a singer
Ventin' to me about your engineer and I would change the subject every dinner
Everyone inside my team knew how talented you were, it was obvious to us
I could've connected you with so many people, but I didn't give a fuck enough
Look how the story unfolds
I posted you on my page so you got recognized at all my shows
But never once for your own talent
How it was supposed to go
Only because you were mine, I never let you be your own
And you never asked for a favour
Maybe you just were afraid to look like you were using me because on paper
People could've thought you loved Token
I know that you only loved Ben
Matter of fact, you were the only one
Matter of fact, my only real friend
If anything, I was using you
Never would thought of that, huh?
Posting you all on my page now
So fans can see I got a bad one
Fans can tell me I'm relationship goals
Fans can tell me I deserve that
Everything I did was ego-based
You the one who observed that
You're the only one who got used
Authentic love you gave to me
Let's talk about what I gave to you
You will tell them that I gave you grief
Your friends will tell you that I gave you no piece
Your dad will tell 'em that I gave you deceit
I will tell you that I gave you a reason to not believe in yourself and trust in me
And then your doctor gave you a seat
Brought up the test results, and I'm the one who gave you
I was someone you need meditation for
Never would've thought I'm also someone you need medication for
I cut the tension with a joke, but I gave you a reason to laugh
At a man who has his career figured out, but nothing solid after that
And you gave me fourty-eight months that I miss every part of
Memories I don't get far from
You gave me light, then you brought the dark up
She gave me nothing but karma
Diary one

Daddy wasn't a man, so daddy didn't raise one
I turned into a bitch by the time I was in grade one
Bitches—, savored it like it's fine wine
Bitches write diaries and I just made mine rhyme