It Kills Me

They see how I'm moving with me
I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feeling feelings with just feeling busy
It's cool but it kills me
It's cool but it kills me

I'm so used to being let down by the people
And things I believe in, you'd think I'd be stronger
But the only thing that I learned from repeat
Disappointment
Is don't let 'em see it all on you
I promise it kills me
It's cool but it kills me

My momma thought I'd be a superstar right about now, she always went to bat for me
I'm letting her down every time that I tell her the show wasn't apt for capacity
I promised that woman a mansion
I promised that woman a life with celebrities
I know she's not gonna say it but she don't wan' hear no more promises
She's almost seventy
Every time I get the momentum
I lose the momentum like it wasn't meant for me
Get an idea then a brand-new idea
Then I leave the idea that was probably best for me
I don't care much about being the richest
I care a lot more about reaching my destiny
I know that Momma is never gon' say what she think 'bout her son and it

They see how I'm moving with me
I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feeling feelings with just feeling busy
It's cool but it kills me
It's cool but it kills me

I'm so used to being let down by the people
And things I believe in, you'd think I'd be stronger
But the only thing that I learned from repeat
Disappointment
Is don't let them see it all on you
I promise it kills me
It's cool but it kills me

Facial recognition everywhere I go, my life is weirder than I thought it would be
Always thought it could be cool to have it, am I wrong to tell you that it's bothering me?
Strangers come up and they usually will mention old music from an album or two
Even though they're showing love, I still internalize it as: What the fuck happened to you?
What the fuck you doing? Where the fuck is Between Somewhere Token?
Fuck you do with him?
Really all they said was: Holy shit, Token!
I love you, I love Household Name
Can we do a pic?
How did I become a person that don't see
A blessing that's next to him showing him all that love?
Maybe this shit isn't meant for me like I thought it was

They see how I'm moving with me
I'm not see-through
She ask what I do, I just do what I need to
They ask how I am, I just am how they need me
Replace feeling feelings with just feeling busy
It's cool but it kills me