I Wish

I wish I wasn't fat, I wish I wasn't gay
I wish I wasn't black, I wish that I was brave
I wish, I wish, I wish with every candle on the cake
That I could quit doin' these drugs, but I can't and I'm afraid
I wish that I was smart, I wish that I was rich
I wish it wasn't hard for me to grow up and forgive
I wish that I could help, I wish I wasn't sick
I wish that I was Tom MacDonald, I'd be just like him

I wish I wasn't sober, I miss it when the party wasn't over
Happiness was right around the corner
Every single night was like the best one of our lives, now we're older
The good old days are out of reach, I wish that they were closer
I wish I wasn't anxious, and I wish I could fast forward
And I wish that I could rewind, but they don't make that controller
I wish the nights were longer, and I wish the days were shorter
And I wish that I could sleep enough to maintain my composure

I feel crazy, I wish that I was normal
I wish that I could kill myself, but also be immortal
Take me to the oracle, I heard that time is borrowed
Can you give me back my yesterdays? I'll give you my tomorrows
Forget all of my morals and just live like I cannot remember sorrow
Before all of the tattoos and the cornrows
I was different, I was happy, I was calmer, I was young and full of hormones
Now I'm wishing for a time machine, I'd step into that portal and be gone

I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites?
Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah
I must've blown apart a million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah

I wish I didn't care about the day that I'd be buried
Used to live like I was ready for it, always in a hurry
Now I'm worried, all my memories are blurry
I'm just barely turning 30, and the voices in my head are tryna hurt me
The choices that I made make me feel dirty, I was 25 at 13
I was smoking with the seniors, drinking beer and getting flirty
Now the Ativan ain't working, I need something even stronger
Give me childhood, my mother, and my father, and my sister

And a Christmas to make up for all the recent ones I missed
While I'm touring the country for a living
Give me a hug, and a Nintendo, and a toy box in the closet
Give me everything I wish I had, oh wait, I think I got it
I'm a rapper like I always promised them I would accomplish
This is awesome, man, I wish I had a friend to tell, I'd call him
And I wonder if I jumped from here, if I'd survive the bottom
And would everyone believe me if I told 'em I had fallen? I'ma jump

I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites?
Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah
I must've blown apart a million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah

I wish we were kids again
Before everything was on Instagram, hey-oh
The things were so simple then
Me, my tree fort, all of my friends
Way back when on Beaver Drive
When the floor was lava, I could fly, hey-oh
Wished I was big like them
Never thought I'd wanna be a kid again

I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites?
Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah
I must've blown apart a million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah
I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites?
Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah
I must've blown apart a million dandelions
Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah