Mirrors (feat. Adam Calhoun)

And I looked, and behold, a pale horse, and his name that sat upon him was Death, and Hell followed with him

I try to off myself, but I often sit and think
Gotta shed a tear like a drop from a faucet sink
Need to talk to a shrink, walk with a priest
Wanna fight everybody, wanna walk down the street
Wanna problem? Fuck you, your honor
Never had a father, made me crazy
Motherfucker came a-swingin' like Muhammad Ali, Frazier
Born in 1980, started rappin' way before I ever heard of Shady
I ain't even knowin' why dudes rap, thought you had to be black for that
Had to feel, started jackin' with the hat to match
I was rappin' way before I heard of Aftermath
I've been feelin' crazy, but I've been actin' like I got it all together
I've been down lately, but maybe someday I'll get my act together
Made it through the bad weather
The day was okay, but I had better
I don't like to look in mirrors, 'cause I don't like lookin' at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I see you lookin' at my face

Why so aggressive? Say it with my chest, bitch, so they get the message
I don't need a text message
If you just look away, boy, I'll make your head twist like an exorcist
Wakin' up from nightmares, heart-thumpin'
God, are you hearin' my prayers?
'Cause I hear thunder, and I don't really like mirrors
Someone stares back at me lookin' like my fears
The only one that I'm scared of is G-O-D, and the old me, drunk or OD
And I don't know if you're aware, but I've been slowly numbin' pain like a OD, I'm Cody
Battlin' my demons like it's 106 and Park
Medicating sins with some gin never healed the scars
Tryna impart part of my heart with my art
But the dark feel like darts and I don't know where I should start
'Cause I've been feelin' crazy, but I've been actin' like I got it all together
I've been down lately, but maybe someday I'll get my act together
Made it through the bad weather
The day was okay, but I had better
I don't like to look in mirrors, 'cause I don't like lookin' at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I see you lookin' at my face

I'm mentally unstable, unable to get a grip
Bet my guardian angel probably thinks I'm a piece of shit
Got a mountain of problems, and I've been standin' on a cliff
Thinkin' maybe I should jump and tell everybody I tripped
Can't admit it, but I'm sick, the prescription pills that I get
Gettin' harder to swallow, and I don't feel like I'm fixed
I'm slippin' further and further into the grip of a pit
I've been diggin' since I was nothin', a little six-year-old kid
Now I'm grown, and I'm seein' ghosts of the men I used to be
Before I fell into this hole
For the bones, I'll be gettin' stoned
And it helped me cope with everything beautifully
But I wish I would've known about the lows
I moved into the middle of nowhere
If I was you, I wouldn't go there
'Cause I just wanna be by myself
Nothin' but some mountains and coal there
I got my dogs, and I don't care
And I did everything by myself
I just wanna be in nature, keep erasin' my entire legacy of everything and bein' famous
I am not a celebrity
I'm a piece of paper that I scribble my thoughts on when they feel dangerous
Fuck you, I can see it clear
Used to want Hollywood, now I wanna disappear
Everywhere I go, people lookin' at me weird
Every time I see a mirror, I just look at my face
I've been feelin' crazy, but I've been actin' like I got it all together
I've been down lately, but maybe someday I'll get my act together
Made it through the bad weather
The day was okay, but I had better
I don't like to look in mirrors, 'cause I don't like lookin' at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I don't look at my face
I see you lookin' at my face