Army Recruitment Song

Am (palm muted.  Got that same beat 
as on the real adds)
Spoken:
Joining today's modern defense force
 is hard enough.  First you have to 
choose:
Navy, Airfoce, Army, Kiss Army, 
Salvation Army, Army of Darkness, 
but even when
you've chosen, you have to make the 
grade.

(All chords palm muted for first 
verse)
Verse:
Am                        F
I'm way too skinny for the Army?
Am                      G
Way too slender for the job?
Am                  F
What can I do if my country doesn't 
want me cause
   Am                          
My talents only stretch to mini 
 G
golf?
Am                         F
I'm way too uncool for the Army
Am                           G
All that running through car tyres
Am                         F
I guess that would come in handy if 
you invaded
  Am                               
A country whose terrain was all car
 G
 tyres.

Chorus:(clean)
        C
But I'm skinny and unclever
      Am
Maybe now more than ever
        F                         G
The technology has caught up with me
             Am
If wars have gone all electronic
        C
I could fight them with my joystick
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   F                            G
As long as they bring pizza to me
                         C
Then I could be in the Army.

Verse 2:
Am                  F
It's not tricky to imagine
C                   G      Am
Me in a bunker at a screen
                         F
Controlling reconaisance robots
                     C
Maybe mine detecting robots
                            G
Even robots who run through tyres

Chorus:
        C
But I'm skinny and unclever
      Am
Maybe now more than ever
        F                         G
The technology has caught up with me
             Am
If wars have gone all electronic
        C
I could fight them with my joystick
      F                            
While watching McLeod's Daughters 
   G
on TV
                        A#
Then I could be in the Army.

Verse 3:
                    F
I was never good at Pacman
    C                            
But at Defender I'd light up the 
A#
skies
                    F
I was never good at Frogger
     C                             
It's much to much like hopping all 
     A#
the tyres
                          F
And if I don't get in the Army
  C                          A#
I could become an evil mastermind
                      F
Live in an underwater tower
    C                              
And wearing shiny skivvies all the 
A#
time
                C
That would be fine

Chorus:
C
Skinny and unclever
      Am
Maybe now more than ever
        F                         
The technology has caught up with 
G
me, (If I could make up my mind)
             Am
If wars have gone all electronic
        C
I could fight them with my joystick
   F                           G
As long as they bring pizza to me
                        C
Then I could be in the Army____.