Ghost Ship

        Em                       
Gatesy: See the lonely township, 
A#m
peacefully sleeping.
        Em                      
        The sun hides once again 
            A#m
behind the sea-ea-ea-ea-ea-ea....
        Em
        Most are safely dreaming:
        A#m
        Angel kisses...

Yon:    (Makes \"kiss kiss kiss... 
flutter flutter flutter\" noises)

        (Pause)

Gatesy: Butterflies...

Yon:    BWARK! BWARK! BWARK!

        (Pause)
            Em                     
Gatesy: But sinners can't escape so
     D
 easily.
            Am                     
Yon:    The murderers, the thieves,
         Em
 and the fraudulent.
            Am             
Tripod: The overweight, the 
                    Em
working-class, the foreigners.

Scod:   Urgh!
        Am                        
Tripod: They all must beware, for 
Em
what's that looming there?
                D              B
        An evil spectre on the sea!

Scod:   Wooooaw!
        Em           C  D
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
        Em           C  D
        Ghost Ship!
        Em
        Ghost Ship!
                  C        D
Gatesy: Coming to get them...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                   C    D
Scod:   Sinners, beware!
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                   C    D
Scod:   Ain't no escaping...
                B (palm muted)
Tripod: ... the Ghost Ship coming 
there...

Yon:    Toot toot!

        (Pause)

Scod:   What was that, Yon?
Yon:    What was that? It's the 
Ghost Ship - Toot toot!
Scod:   Yon, it's gotta be scary!
Yon:    Umm... right, yeah. TOOT 
TOOT.
Scod:   Yon, it's the Ghost Ship, 
all right. It's gotta be really 
disturbing.
Gatesy: Grrrrr....
Yon:    Umm... oh! Milky discharge.
Gatesy: Yeah!
Scod:   Yeah!
Gatesy: That's disturbing!
Scod:   Spot on!

            G
Scod:   Its masts are made of 
piled-up skulls,
            D
        Its decks are made of human 
nuts.
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            C
        Its sails are made of sailor
 skin.
            D
Tripod: Its guts are made of...

Scod:   ... guts!
               Em
Tripod: It's a feat of engineering.
           C
Yon:    I wonder who built it?
                                D
Gatesy: I wonder who built it as 
well, Yonny.

        G                          
Gatesy: Out of the night, under the
 D
 ocean stars,
              G                    
        I was standing with my baby
        Em                      
 on the boardwalk, and the Ghost 
          D
Ship was there.
       C                  G
        I took her to the pictures,
       Am                   Em
        And then I took her home, 
yeah!
       C                       G 
(Scod stops playing)
        And then I took her to 
heaven, you know what I mean...


Gatesy: And it was kind of dirty, 
and we got out the Glad Wrap...

        (Audience cheer)

Scod:   I don't want to stop it, 
but... umm... now, I'm just gonna go
 with
        some of the audience 
reaction...
Gatesy: Yeah...
Scod:   ... and suggest that a few 
of the punters, they've spotted the 
same
        inconsistency that I've 
spotted, Gatesy! Now, when did this 
suddenly
        become about some woman?

Gatesy: Ohh, I see, right! Well, I 
figured that if this Tosswinkle the 
Pirate
        show was like a concept 
album, then this Ghost Ship song 
would be our
        first single, yeah? And we 
want to make a bit of money out of 
this for
        a change, yeah?
        So if we want to get this...
 want to get this single selling - 
sure,
        the guys, Dave, he loves 
that \"ooga booga\" scary stuff, 
with the galleon
        and the water, and OOOH!, 
but the girls - as soon as you talk 
about love,
        now you have the ladies 
listening. Ahh! Because the girls 
want to imagine
        they're making love to the 
singer.

        (Audience laughter)

Gatesy: They're not supposed to 
laugh at that one.
Scod:   Hmm!
Gatesy: Go with me guys on this - a 
one-ie and a two-ie and a 
three-four.
        Em          C
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                D
Gatesy: My baby kisses like a...
        Em          C
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                     D
Gatesy: I touched my baby on her...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                        C    D
Gatesy: My trousers are bursting...

Scod:   All right, all right, stop 
the train! Just a minute, all right,
 okay.
        Sorry - \"I touched my baby 
on her Ghost Ship\".
Gatesy: Yeah!
Scod:   Now... where exactly is a 
woman's \"Ghost Ship\"?
Gatesy: Don't you know?
Scod:   know... I'm just seeing, you
 know, if it translates.

Yon:    That... that's enough. I 
can't believe I'm saying this, but I
 think you're
        onto something, Gatesy. I 
think, you know, this whole love 
thing could be...
        could be a bit of a... unit 
mover.
Gatesy: I reckon!
Yon:    Yeah! I mean, but, you're 
just coming in a little bit too 
fast, though, that's all.
Gatesy: You reckon?
Yon:    You know, you need to create
 a little bit of a mood, you know, 
get inside
        the head of a female girl, 
you know? Can I give you an example 
of what I mean?
Scod:   Sure.
Yon:    After two - one, two.
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                      C     D
Yon:    Expressing my feelings...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                     C      D
Yon:    Being a good listener...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                        C    D
Yon:    A thoughtful companion...

Scod:   I don't even know what this 
song's about any more!
Gatesy: So, it's like foreplay?
Yon:    Yeah!
Scod:   NO! It's not about foreplay!
 All right, it's not, it's about a 
horrible
        spectral ship that comes to 
get sinners, all right?
Gatesy: Well, what are they wearing?
 Is it sort of a leather thing with 
a...
Scod:   No! For Christ's sake, will 
you just focus? Okay. There might be
 a woman
        on it, but it's because 
she's a sinner. So it's more like, 
okay, scary, like:

        G                          
Scod:   The woman's a sinner, she's
          D
 gonna be dragged away...
            G                      
Gatesy: But not before I bone her 
      Em                         D
on the boardwalk till the morning 
comes!
        C                      G  
Yon:    I bought a sentimental 
        Am                   
card, with flowers and a pink 
 Em
desi-i-ign.
                  C            
Scod:   She'll be torn apart by 
 G
demons...
Gatesy: While she's touching my 
D
buns!
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                   C      D
Yon:    A caring environment...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                     C    D
Scod:   A den of the damned...
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!
                C   D
Gatesy: Overtly sexual...
        B
Scod:   Murderous!
Yon:    Empathy!
Gatesy: Nude!
Scod:   Banshees!
Yon:    Thoughtful!
Gatesy: ... Arse!
        Em
Tripod: Ghost Ship!

Gatesy: Yeah! Give it to me!
Scod:   You guys suck!
Yon:    Yeah!
Scod:   You're just encouraging him,
 don't!