Im Not A Real Doctor

      G
I was 22 back in the 90s
      Em
Up in Ohio was where you could find me
    D                                     C
But I'm headed down to New Orleans, and I got 2 of my friends beside me
        G
We were poor so we were staying out in Slidell
      Em
And I had just gotten my credit card in my mail
   D                         C
So I got us a rental car that went real fast and drove real far
         G                              Em
It was a red Mustang GT, way nicer than my Buick from 1983
      D
It was BA and fast as what
          C
I'm feelin feeling high and looking for love
   G
So we head down to Pat O'Brien's and I
Em
 Spot some girls as we stand in line and I
D
 Tell this cute girl that I'm pre-med
       C
Coulda told her the truth, but I lied instead


[Chorus]
                   G
Cuz I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that gives meds away
Em
 I'm a self-proclaimed doctor, like Dr. Dre
D
 In New Orleans, I'm just trying to get some love today
    C
And I'll admit it when I said I lied to her
               G
I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that does surgery
Em
 I transformed into a doctor so she'd flirt with me
D
 Now I know it won't be long before she's deserting me
      C
Cause she gon find out certainly, I lied to her
               G     Em  G
I'm not a real doctor


[Verse 2]
G
 Now everything is going great, I'm doctor
Em
 Dr. Lovejones and I found my date
            D
Plus I play college football, that why she chose us
    C
So I buy this girl a dozen roses
    G                                 Em
And we sat down at a table for 6 and I pay some man to come take our pic
          D
There's a couple guys playing dueling pianos
     C
Bouta find my love down in Louisiana
    G                                       Em
And we sat there and drank hurricanes for a few more hours until we're going insane
      D
She's sitting on my lap and she's kissing me drunk
              C
Smells like tobacco and cherries and I'm falling in love
          G
Is it the lip balm she's wearing or her cigarettes
          Em
The whole room spinning round, I'm in over my head
     D
When all of a sudden, my best friend Jalopy says
    C
I'm not a real doctor, I'm only a copy


[Chorus]
                  G
So I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that gives meds away
Em
 I'm a self-proclaimed doctor, like Dr. Dre
D
 In New Orleans, I'm just trying to get some love today
    C
And I'll admit it when I said I lied to you
               G
I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that does surgery
Em
 I transformed into a doctor so you'd flirt with me
D
 And I knew it wouldn't be long before yous deserting me
      C
Cause she gon find out certainly, I lied to you
               G      G
I'm not a real doctor


[Verse 3]
        G                                     Em  G  Em
Now the girls are creeped out so they walkin away
        G                        Em  G  Em
And I'm mad and I got nothing to say
        G                                      Em  G  Em
My best friend sold me out, my whole life is a lie
       G                                   Em  G  Em
Yeah I just told these girls I'm a regular guy
       D                      C                    G
Oh and regular guys don't get love from girls like you
     D                      C                    G    G    G    G
Yeah regular guys don't get love from girls like you, you, you, you


[Verse 4]
Em
 Then my friends left me alone in New Orleans
        Em                                        D        C
They're mad because I'm screaming and drunk off a ten hurricanes
Em
 I wander the streets of New Orleans alone as I think to my self
                D      C            G
Why why why why I even came to this place
    D             C         G
New Orleans, you spit in my face
Em                                        Cm
 Then some may creeps out of an alley and askes me for a cigarette
Em                                   Cm
 I see the dirt in his nails, I can smell the Jim Bean on his breath
Em                                 Cm
 Something in my gut tells me this man yeah this man is looking for sex
     Em                                     Cm
He's probably already got 20 victims and I'm about to be his next
     Em                                          Cm
So I run like the wind down Burbon Street, yes I run with the speed of a bear
       Em                                            Cm
I hear whistles from bystanders as I pass by and the wind well it jostles my hair
       Em                                               Cm
I look over my shoulder the old man is close, yeah he's quick, he's gaining some ground
       Em                                        Cm                    D
Now he finally up on my heels as he grabs for my coat and he spins me around
         C                                               G
He says "Young man, please don't be scared for I am your friend
   C                                             G
I abandoned my young son Jalopy when he was just 10
         C                                           G
And I've searched high and low for Jalopy ever since then
       C                                                D
And my search for Jalopy has brought me to New Orleans again"
       C                                          G
Then Jalopy comes round the corner in that red Mustang
       C                                                 G
As he spots the old man I can see his eyes swell up with pain
         C                                             D
He says "Dad, you look older, but somehow you look the same"
                   Em     D              G                        C
The old man says, "No son no, I've got a sickness deep down in my soul
       Em                           D
Broken hearted since the day that I left
        G                            C
I can't get this weight up off of my chest
      Em
I got heart disease and gum disease
    D
And I've got lice and I've got fleas
         G                        C
I've got HIVs and malarial, and I think I've got diphtheria
     Em                            D
And I get migraines every day so I pop pills to stop my pain
        G
But the guilt don't ever go away
    C                           Em
No, I don't go a single day without regret for what I've done
     D
I've left behind my only son
  G                              C
Jalopy don't you know your daddy loves you"
    Em                               D
And then the old man turns to me and askes me would I help him please
   G                       C
He hear I was a doctor, oh no


[Chorus]
                   G
Cuz I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that gives meds away
Em
 I'm a self-proclaimed doctor, like Dr. Dre
D
 In New Orleans, I'm just trying to get some love today
    C
And I'll admit it when I said I lied to her
               G
I'm not a real doctor, not the kind that does surgery
Em
 I transformed into a doctor so she'd flirt with me
D
 And I know it won't be long before she's deserting me
      C
Cause she gon find out certainly, I lied to her
                     G
I'm not a real doctor