Worst Friend

            F           C         
You got one friend who's a flight 
      Bb    C
attendant
            Dm    C             
You got one friend who likes 
Bb    C
speed
            F     C               

You got one friend who always 
     Bb                   C
wants to smoke inside of your house
            Dm        C       
You got one friend who secretly 
               Bb              F
likes to get peed on sexually
            F           C       
You got one friend who is oh so 
Bb        C
natural
            Dm          C         
And got one friend we all call the
      Bb    C
 retard
            F     C         Bb   
You got one friend fighting 
      C
cancer
            F           C         
You got one friend who I bet right
     Bb                    F
 now is barking out in the yard

[Chorus]
            C     F           
But I'm the worst friend in the 
  C       F
world
        Bb                  Bb

I'm the worst friend in the world
C             F
When you are down
        Bb         F    C
I'm nowhere to be found
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        F      C            Bbm  
I'm the worst friend in the world
       F


[Verse]
            F     C         Bb     C
You got one friend who's in Iraq
            Dm    C               
You got one friend who dresses 
         Bb        C
like little bo peep
            F      C         Bb  
You got one friend who is in 
    C
prison
            Dm    C            

You got one friend who's really 
              Bb         F
really in to feet sexually
            F     C               
You got one friend who could be a 
            Bb        C
competitive eater
            Dm     C          
You got one friend who's one of 
        Bb                C
those bad movie buffs
            F      C            
You got one friend who touched 
Bb              C
you inappropriately
        Dm    C         Bb       
And one friend who you are pining
    F
 to touch

[Chorus]
            C      F          
But I'm the worst friend in the 
  C      F
world
        Bb                  Bb
I'm the worst friend in the world
C            F
When you are down
        Bb         F            C

I'm nowhere to be found
F               C            Bbm

I'm the worst friend in the 
        F
world

[Verse]
            F     C               
You got one friend who's emic 
   Bb         C
Arthur fellow
            Dm    C             
You got one friend who's a 
Bb      C
widower
            F     C            
You got one friend who claims to 
               Bb                C
have taken a dump in the White House
            Dm    C            
You got one friend who just gave 
           Bb      F
birth to twins
            F     C                

You got one friend who goes to the
Bb                   C
 gym at least twice a day
        F      C                  
And one friend who recovered from 
      Bb      C
severe burns
            F           C         

You got one friend who rubbed his
         Bb                   C
 penis on tv's actual Wheel of 
Fortune
        F               C     
And one friend who y'all ain't, 
          Bb                      F
y'all ain't even on speaking terms