The USS Make Shit Up

Voltaire

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    I was stranded on a planet, Just me and Spock
    Ee met a nasty nazi alien who locked our asses up
    We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
    We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head

    Bust a move, Tog

    I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
    His eyes were full of tears he said "Captain, can't you see
    the ship is gonna blow do something I beseech"
    I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach

    And I say,
    Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
    Thats the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
    The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
    'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

    And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit
    Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
    He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
    Now if only he could beam those pimples off his face

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    And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
    And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
    Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
    Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knee

    And I say
    Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
    Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
    The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
    'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

    Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
    He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
    The wormhole's opened up and now they come from near and far
    We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar

    What is with the Klingons, remember in the day
    They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
    Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
    With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads

    And I say
    Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
    Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
    The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
    'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up

    Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
    When suddently it dawned on me I've seen this show before
    Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble and slightly out of phase
    'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"

    We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
    So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
    Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
    But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits

    And I say
    Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
    Thats the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
    The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
    'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
    We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some shit up

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