I Wish I Was A Lesbian

Wainwright Loudon

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    I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
    I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
    And all their yucky yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo!
    I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero!

    I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight.
    I'd sleep with women only. Man, it would be great.
    I'd throw away my diaphragm, I wouldn't want to mate.
    I wish I was a lesbian, and that I wasn't straight!

    I wish I were a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke.
    I'd sleep with k.d. lang. Mel Gibson, take a hike!
    I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike.
    I wish I was a lesbian, I'd like to be a dyke!

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    I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung.
    It shouldn't really matter how somebody is hung.
    Other things are more important- like how you use your tongue!
    I wish I was a lesbian, that's why this song is sung!

    I DARE Casey Kasem to play this!

    I wish I was a lesbian, and not a hetero.
    I wouldn't have to deal with men and all their come and go,
    And all their yucky facial hair and all their machis'mo
    (I hate that machis'mo!)
    I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

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