AUDIT (feat. Tsurumaki Maki)

I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife
Everything I could want, I've got a perfect life
It's like you're hardly working when it's something you love
A brain of calculation, it's heart an abacus

But I think I'd be lying if I didn't say this
I've got a way with words but not a way with emotions
I've got a silver bullet, I've got a self-prescription
I say hand me one more drink, you call it an addiction

I open up the bottle, let inhibition go
Maybe I shouldn't, though
I know I shouldn't, though
If it becomes a problem, if it seeps in my bones
Nobody has to know
Nobody has to know

I've got a business, I've got a lovely wife
Maybe I lie a little, but I'm doing alright
I say that I'll get better, I say I'm trying to quit
But if you know me, you would know I'm faking it

It's only twice a day, then three, then four, then five
It's not like it'll kill me, it makes me feel alive
At least I thought that it did
Don't let them know I told you this
But I don't know how to resist
I hate my own excuses-

Choking on desolation, sip on amaretto
Won't make me better, though
I won't get better, though
I can't stop when I want to, I still have self-control
But I'll never say no
But I'll never say no

I know I fucked it all up, I'm not a perfect man
But I swear I'll get better, this isn't who I am
It's really not your problem, you shouldn't give a damn
You don't know how I'm feeling, so don't try to understand

Past 60 on the dashboard, past 08 in my blood
I'm feeling kinda funny, all common sense undone
Swerving all over the road, got children in the back
How are we gonna get home?

(I'm really sorry, Jack, I-)

The crashing sound of metal, the bleeding from my nose
I'm so stupid, I know
Fucking awful, I know
The iron taste in my mouth mixes with the merlot
They won't breathe anymore
They won't breathe anymore

I've really done it this time, where's there for me to go?
Goddamnit, I don't know
How could I ever know?
A shallow grave from my hands, flesh and blood down below
Pick up, pick up the phone
Pick up, pick up the phone