Star Trek Rhapsody

"Weird Al" Yankovic

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    Kirk: I am the captain of the Starship Enterprise.
    Spock: Captain Kirk: This is Spock.
    Please step on the transporter.
    Scotty: Dilithium crystals!
    Hit by Klingon missiles!
    No!
    McCoy: I'm a doctor!
    Kirk: Not an actor!
    McCoy: Not a milkman!
    Kirk: What does that mean?
    McCoy: And I'm sorry -- He's dead, Jim.
    Chekov: Photon torpedo . . . !
    Kirk: Lieutenant Uhura,
    Open hailing frequencies
    Uhura: Yes, Captain Kirk,
    Opening hailing frequencies, sir
    Kirk: Let's boldly go where no one's gone before!
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha . . .
    Beam me up, Mr. Scott;
    Sulu, go to warp!
    Sulu: Warp three, sir.
    Kirk: No! That will be way too slow!
    Sulu: Warp four, sir?
    Kirk: That still is way too slow!
    Sulu: Warp five, sir.
    Kirk: It still is too damn slow!
    Sulu: Warp six.
    Kirk: It's too damn slow!
    Sulu: Warp seven?
    Kirk: It's still damn slow!
    Chorus: It's too damn slow . . . !
    Kirk: No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
    Mr. Chekov, Mr. Chekov --
    Chekov: I am firing torpedo!
    Spock: That will not work and would be illogical
    To me, to me, to me . . . !

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