Skipper Dan

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I starred in every high school play
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Blew every drama teacher away
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Graduated first in my class at 
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Julliard
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Took every acting workshop I could
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And I dreamed of Hollywood
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While I read my Uta Hagen, and 
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studied the Bard
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Hit the boards and paid my dues
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And got phenomenal rave reviews
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I knew the world was gonna love 
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me, without a doubt
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I was sure that Tarantino would be 
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calling me on my phone
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Annie Liebowitz would shoot me for 
Rolling Stone
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But the years have come and gone and
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 I'm sorry to say
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That's not the way that it's all 
worked out

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I'm a tour guide on the Jungle 
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Cruise ride
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Skipper Dan is the name
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And I'm doing 34 shows every day
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And every time it's the same
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Look at those hippos, they're 
wiggling their ears
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Just like they've done for the last 
50 years
Continúa después del anuncio
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Now I'm laughing at my own jokes, 
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but I'm crying inside
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'Cause I'm working on the Jungle 
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Cruise ride

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Oh the critics they used to say, I
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 was the new Olivier
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Thought I'd be the toast of 
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Sundance, or maybe Cannes
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Ah, but don't bother trying to IMDB 
me
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The only place you might possibly 
see me
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Is riding my little boat around 
Adventureland
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It ain't exactly what I planned but

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I'm a tour guide on the Jungle 
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Cruise ride
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Skipper Dan is the name
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And I'm doing 34 shows every day
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And every time it's the same
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I would've killed if I'd been in 
Speed-the-Plow
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But what's the difference that's all
 behind me now
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'Cause I'm paying the rent and 
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I'm swallowing my pride
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And I'm working on the Jungle Cruise
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 ride

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I should be there on Broadway
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Knocking 'em dead in 12 Angry Men
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But instead I'm here telling these 
lame jokes
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Again, and again, and again, and 
again
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And again, and again, and again

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I should've listened when my 
Grandfather said
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Why don't you major in business 
instead?
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Now my hopes have all vanished and 
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my dreams have all died
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And I'll probably work forever as a
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Tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
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Skipper Dan is the name
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And I'm doing 34 shows every day
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And every time it's the same
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Look at those hippos, they're 
wiggling their ears
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Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored 
to tears
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Always said I'd be famous, I 
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guess that I lied
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'Cause I'm working on the Jungle 
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Cruise ride
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I'm still working on the Jungle 
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Cruise ride