Plastic Jesus

      D
Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
G
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
D                             A Asus4 A
Riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
We will travel every nation,
D               A             D  Dsus4 D
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.


[Verse]
D
Riding through the thoroughfare
G
With his nose right up there in the air
D                                  A Asus4 A
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
D
Trouble coming, but he don't see
G
He just keeps his plastic eyes on me
D                 A             D Dsus4 D
And any other thing that rides behind


[Verse]
D
God made Christ a Holy Jew
G
made Him a Christian too
D                     A Asus4 A
Paradoxes populate my car
D
Joseph beams  nfeignied elan
G
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
D              A             D Dsus4 D
Famous cuckold in the master plan


[Verse]
D
Right theres Naughty Mary, snug and smiling
G
Jesus dainty and beguiling
D                         A Asus4 A
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
D
His message clear by night or day
G
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
D              A             D Dsus4 D
Simpering on the dashboard of my van


[Chorus]
        D              G
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
D                             A Asus4 A
riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
we will travel every nation,
D               A             D Dsus4 D
with my plastic Jesus I'll go far.


[Verse]
D
When I find myself in a traffic jam
G
He don't care if I say Damn
D                         A Asus4 A
I just let all the curses roll
D
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
G
cuz he's sportin a plastic ear
D                    A               D Dsus4 D
The man who invented plastic saved my soul


[Verse]
D
You can buy a sweet Madonna,
G
dressed in rhinestone sitting on a
D                 A Asus4 A
pedestal of abalone shell
D
Goin' ninety, I'm not scary,
G
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
D            A             D Dsus4 D
guaranteeing I won't go to Hell


[Verse]
D
I don't care if it bumps or jostles
G
I got the Twelve Apostles
D                          A Asus4 A
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
D
Don't I sew a pious mess
G
Such a crowd of holiness
D            A             D Dsus4 D
Strung across the dashboard of my car


[Verse]
D
I don't care if it's dark or scary,
G
I got magnetic Mary,
D                         A Asus4 A
ridin' on the dashboard of my car
D
I feel I'm protected amply,
G
I've got the whole Holy Family,
D             A               D Dsus4 D
riding on the dashboard of my car


[Chorus]
        D              G
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
D                          A Asus4 A
Riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Once his robe was snowy white
G
Now it isn't quite so bright
D               A             D Dsus4 D
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

        D              G
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
D                          A Asus4 A
riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
we will travel every nation,
D               A             D Dsus4 D
with my plastic Jesus I'll go far.