Then She Bit Me

Will Smith

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    Ladies and gentleman you are about to enter the twilight zone

    I was in a club, one friday
    A lovely lady comes walking my way
    She walked up and she said hello
    I said hi, my names Joe
    I was lyin', so was she
    She said her name was Donny,
    But her shirt said Marie.
    She said you get to know me,
    you'll never forget me
    I said why, then she bit m.

    Ouch!
    That didn't hurt.
    Kinda creepy
    but she ripped my shirt.
    She poisoned me I went to sleep.
    Woke up at her house,
    At the back of a jeep.
    A Blazer, '89
    Tinted windows,
    I wish it was mine.
    Oh, here it is,
    But where are my keys?
    There they are in the ignition.

    I'm at her house.
    It's a Tepee.
    No, it's a cabin
    No a skyscrapper.
    No, its an igloo.
    A shack.
    Forget it, I'll go around back.
    It's a castle, with a moat
    How I get Across...Boat.

    Shooo...I hate that sound.

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    I went inside,
    Looked right, looked left.
    There she is.
    Oh, no Thats Jeff.
    He's invisible.
    I went downstairs.
    It's a loft.
    No, it's a dungeon!
    There she is, doing aerobics.
    No, yoga.
    No, karate.

    (You killed my teacher)
    But what a body!

    No, he wasn't there.
    I'm tellin you I saw him
    No, really I saw him
    He was playing checkers.
    No, Nintendo
    Ok, I'm lying

    There she is,
    Watching T.V.
    All My Children.
    No, thats Cosby.
    No, Speed Racer.
    Shaft.
    No, thats Kimba
    My fault...the T.V.'s off.

    There she is, what a doll.
    No, that's Chucky from Child's play!
    I kissed her,
    And she told me this is home...
    I had entered a dimension Called The Twilight Zone....
    Anything can happen.

    I'm rough like sandpaper,
    Hard like algebra.
    You should be glad that I was nice,
    And I allowed ya to
    Step on stage.
    To kick your ryhmes off.
    I tried to be nice,
    But you mistook that for softness.
    Now it's over' to hell with your opinion!
    What I say goes from now on,
    This is my dominion!
    I dare any rapper to step on stage
    Cause if you do you'll feel the force of my rage
    I'm on a rampage psyche just kiddin
    Jeff wanted to do that
    But I didn't
    I thought that it would make the record dumb
    I guess I wasn't wrong

    Mary had a little lamb
    Her fleece was white as snow
    And everywhere that mary went so did humpty dumpty
    Jack and Jill went up a hill
    To fetch a pail of water
    Jack fell down,
    And broke his crown
    Hickory, dickory, dock

    Got to use the bathroom now,
    psyche, I was drafted.

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