The Self Checkout Shuffle

E|--3----3-3---| 
B|--0----1-0---| 
G|--0----0-0---| 
D|--0----2-0---| 
A|--0----0-0---| 
E|--3----3-3---| 

But my pinky and ring struggle to 
get to the start position so I just 
do this instead. It's just a G, 
quickly
to a Cadd9 then back to G. Sounds 
very similar to what he's doing.
E|--3----3-3---| 
B|--3----3-3---| 
G|--0----0-0---| 
D|--0----2-0---| 
A|--2----3-2---| 
E|--3----x-3---| 


[Verse 1]
G
Well, I can't afford to pay this 
month's rent
G
On cigarettes and booze, all my 
money's been spent
C
That letter from the bailiffs it 
looks quite serious
G                                  
How those people sleep at night is 
D            G
quite mysterious
G
I've got a payment plan for the 
electricity
G
By Christmas I will have paid them 
off, Christmas 2033
C
My Mum gave me a tenner to buy 
dinner for the night
G                        D      G
But I put every penny on Black 29
C
Now I've got no money to buy food 
and wine
    G                       D     G
and I'm just hanging out in Aisle 5


[Chorus 1]
           C                    
There's an unexpected item in my 
 G
bagging area
C                   G
I don't know how it got there-ea
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    C                          
The man is coming over and it's 
 G
getting scarier
  C             D            G
I think this machine must be broken.


[Verse 2]
      G
Now I'm no thief, stealing is really
 not my style
      G
Those self-checkouts they really 
drive me wild
      C
I can swap the labels around from 
the deli-counter
  G                                
I feel a bit like Jesus when I put 
D               G
wine through as water
      G
I can pretend to scan something, 
make the beeping with my mouth
   G
It doesn't feel wrong because no one
 loses out
         C
So I was just finalising the details
 of my plan
G                         D      
Filling up my basket with real 
   G
pork ham
     C
When suddenly I looked up and there 
was my friend's Mum
           G                    
And in the light of Aisle 5, she 
        D           G
looked weirdly attractive

[Chrous 2]
           C                    
There's an unexpected item in my 
 G
private area
C                   G
I don't know how it got there-ea
C                            
Now she's coming over and it's 
  G
getting scarier
  C        D           G
I think my morals have broken.

[Verse 3]
      G
She's looking at my shopping and 
says "Wow, You must be plush!
     G
I've got a full time job and I can't
 afford that stuff"
   C
I said "We only ever have 'Taste The
 Difference' of Course!
   G                            
I never get the basics brands, I 
 D          G
don't like horse"
G
Then I realise she was quite 
delighted.
G
All the premium branded food was 
getting her excited
       C
So she takes me by the hand, I try 
to explain "I'm just not ready!"
        G                          
But she makes a make-shift bed out 
D                G
boxes of Frosted Shreddies
C
Half an hour later I'm praying it 
doesn't turn blue
  G                          
I don't know how I feel about 
 D            G
stealing for two.

[Chorus 3]
           C                      
There's an unexpected item in her 
G
bagging area
C                   G
I don't know how it got there-ea
C                                  
The midwife's coming over and it's 
G
getting scarier
         C                  D  
But it's nice to know my machine 
        G
isn't broken