Hard To Live

I fake a smile
But the truth is buried
Cause down underneath
My mind is going places
I never want to be
I know these lies are self-inflicted
But they won't let me go
I know I'm feeling so conflicted
Can't fight this war alone

Feels like I'm fallin' deep inside my head again
How much can I take before the demons win?
I don't wanna let go, just wanna let you know
That I am struggling

And I build these walls around me
To keep from going under
But they fall on me
And I'm defenseless
It's all on me, gotta get a grip
Never thought it'd come to this
There ain't no question now
I feel it coming down

My mind, searching for a better place
And I'm hoping it's enough for me
Cause when the sunlight fades
And I am slipping away
It's all or nothing, I need to find a reason to stay

I've got this sinking feeling that I can't seem to shed
It's got me numb to everything, now all I see is red
I'm losing my grip
Crack under pressure, keep pushing until I break
Claw my way out of this darkness that I create
Brick by brick I'll seal myself away from this illusion
I don't know how much more I have left to give

And I build these walls around me
To keep from going under
But they fall on me
And I'm defenseless
It's all on me, gotta get a grip
Never thought it'd come to this
There ain't no question now
I feel it coming down (again)

Could you tell me how to make believe
That none of this is happening?
Making something out of nothing, yeah
Overthinking, I'm sinking

I'm coming down again
I can feel it coming down again