Mayonnaise

There’s a fat man living in a fat house
Eating a fat sandwich sitting on a fat couch
He says, “don’t you like my couch ?”
He says to no one in particular
That’s cause no one in particular that’s his best friend

Sit on a pretty perch inside of a gold cage
If you don’t die of boredom first you can die of old age
Sit on a pretty perch inside of a gold cage
If you don’t die of boredom first you can eat…
You can eat mayonnaise

An ex-beautiful blond she puts make-up on her tear stains
She got mugged and the mugger was time
She remembers the time when all the dogs would
Sniff her back side
But she’s one of the lucky ones
She got stored inside a trophy case

When the thrill is gone
You can live off the fat