How Was I Supposed to Know

Xania Monet

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    He didn't walk me down no stairs
    Didn't warn me 'bout them boys who wouldn't care
    Didn't tell me what a real man sounds like
    So I fell for the ones that lied just right
    He never pulled my chair or checked my friends
    Never showed me what to lose or what to defend
    So I chase love with an open wound
    Looking for something I was never introduced to
    My mama did her best, but she can't teach
    What it feels like when a father speaks
    So I took еvery I love you too deep
    Even whеn they only meant for a week

    How was I supposed to know what love looked like
    When daddy never showed me what felt right?
    How was I supposed to set the bar
    When I ain't ever seen no man fight for my heart?
    Now I'm learning through heartbreak piece by piece
    Tryna be soft in a world that's been hard on me
    I ain't bitter, just broken in places you can't see
    How was I supposed to know
    If he ain't teach me?

    I thought pain was part of being chosen
    If he stayed, then the hurt was worth holding
    I called settling a sign of love
    'Cause I ain't know a man should lift me up
    Know you're beautiful just 'cause I'm his
    And know I got you when life don't make sense
    So I let bare minimum feel like gold
    'Cause I know I deserve more to hold
    And mama raised a queen with a wounded crown
    Taught me strength, but I still let love drag me down
    'Cause daddy never gave me that love one on one
    So I mistook lust for the real one

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    How was I supposed to know what love looked like
    When daddy never showed me what felt right?
    How was I supposed to set the bar
    When I ain't ever seen no man fight for my heart?
    Now I'm learning through heartbreak piece by piece
    Tryna be soft in a world that's been hard on me
    I ain't bitter, just broken in places you can't see
    How was I supposed to know
    If he ain't teach me?

    I needed arms that protected
    Not ones that neglected
    Needed truth without games
    Real love with no pain
    So now I'll relearn what I missed
    Unpacking daddy wounds from every kiss
    But I promise one day I'll be free
    Of the love that never covered me

    How was I supposed to know what love looked like
    When my first man left before I learned to fight?
    Now I raise my standards like prayers to the sky
    For the girl I was who needed to know why

    I still stumble, but now I see
    The kind of love that was meant for me
    And I'll teach my daughter what he couldn't show
    So she'll know

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