You Are Pregnant, You Are Dead

never had i seen a woman falling down
to the grass court
gingko across her face, yellowed by
a child and a boyfriend
calling so hard to its father, "bury me in the sawdust!"
deepen the dread, gotten rid of by this self immolation
AGAIN!
the dust that hides the sweetness of the pyre
feel you turn into tears and ashes inside my lungs