Dial-Up Deals

Hey, hey friend
You've got quite the funny brand
Let me lend you a costly hand
I'm your friendly garbage salesman
Hey, hey kid
I've got sales you can't ignore
Subscribe to get a little more
When you step inside my deals store

Here's some fun facts
I used to be the biggest guy in town
Number one, all around salesman
Signed a contract
One phone call later had the sales hot
All it bought, jackpot, a big shot
But whеn your life has gone down the drain
And you feel ashamеd
My hyperlink remains blocked

How, how can you be a big shot like me
Just find me the key, one-time-only deal
And speaking of you, it's your big debut
That heart looks brand new, let's put it to use
Now let's blow your mind
This contract was signed
The print's pretty fine
That heart will be mine
Now you must agree to what I foresee
It's my guarantee, in heaven I'm free

So turn up the dial up, flip up the screen
You shouldn't believe what you see on TV
This funky little worm will be the death of me
So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty

Here's an easy game for your friends to play
Why not come on back into the alleyway
Interest in business so you've got to say
You'd throw your whole life away
You want it, you need it
You have it, you've seen it
Just sign here, don't read it
It's just some boring terms of service

Finally, we got this show on the road
Hop inside my new Cungadero
Ride around, to the basement we'll go
Kris you know, I couldn't do this alone
Wow, I'm feeling good, aren't you feeling great?
Heaven's here to watch you as your friends disintegrate
Nothing's left to stop me as I take on this state
Oh wait, Kris you little ingrate

How, how can you be a big shot like me
You found me the key, Kris we had a deal
It's long overdue, that sweet revenue
You know what to do, this call is for you
I'll throw you a bone and all that I own
I'll cut you a loan, just hang up the phone
How could you say no, it's all that you owe
We're friends don't you know, to heaven we'll go

So turn up the dial up, flip up the screen
You shouldn't believe what you see on TV
This funky little worm will be the death of me
So make yourself a deal and don't forget your warranty
Turn up the dial up, flip up the screen
We don't need the easels or the CRTs
This funky little worm was the death of me
Just cut the final strings and I will finally be free