Disappear

Daddy I've been thinkin' about you lately
Mama's never here and step daddy hates me
He drinks a lot, it makes him so mean
Mama always screams and it gives me bad dreams
Today I dropped my bowl of s'ghetti on the floor
I didn't mean to make a mess, I tripped on one of my toys
I tried to clean it up, really I tried

But I just made it worse so I went to my room to hide
I knew if benny saw it I'd be in so much trouble
I didn't want to, but I did
And the thought of gettin' hit scared me so I didn't tell him
Benny saw it, he took off his belt and
You know... He hit me with it
Then he pushed my face in to the
Carpet where the s'ghetti spilled it
But I forgive him though
I love you daddy, I guess I gotta go

There's a moth on my window seal
And it came to die alone
Through the pain of the pouring rain
I gaze into the storm
And I imagine I'm the son of a man
Who will hold me close and near
With these bruises on my face I cry
While I pray to disappear

Daddy are you there?
I know you're probably busy off working somewhere
Helpin' somebody, build a house or somethin' neat
You told me what you did, carpentry, right?
Man, that's so cool, daddy
I really miss you, so much that I would kiss you
Yeah even front of my friends
I guess you know I'm gettin' sick again

I've been throwin' up, I haven't been playin' much
I missed a lot of school this week, but I'm tough
I'll make it, you know me, daddy
I don't get what I want most of the time but I'm patient
Hey if you get a second
Maybe tomorrow you could come by just to check in
Because my babysitter's crazy
Mama don't believe me but she makes me get naked

And I'm embarrassed so I hide it
I'm tellin' you because you know my heart and what's inside it
I gotta go to sleep but don't turn off the lights
I love you daddy, or should I say christ?
When the weeping willow
Tree sways from the breeze I float away

To the end of the world, to the moon, to the stars
To the heavens where I'm safe
I'm [?], I remain enslaved
I'm a life, I'm a world, I'm a rose, with the waste
Wake me up, let me live, let me breathe, let me breathe
Give me love, give me soul, give me guidance, give me peace