Self-medication

I'm lost in thoughts
Against my will
I'm scared, confused
About how I feel
I need a brand-new vice to calm me down

I'm gonna be fine
I sing about it all the time
But now I'm not convinced
That I can be better
Seems impossible to me

I've always been grumpy
Always been sad
Why can't I have something
That makes me feel glad?
Why can't I be happy?
I torture myself
It's so hard to be me
I'll try to be somebody else

And what's the point of finding grace
When all I've got to show is fake?
2 times of 3 you see me smile
It's not the truth

I chug another one
Just another one
I need a little more
I'm sorry, I can't take anymore

I've always been grumpy
Always been sad
Why can't I have something
That makes me feel glad?
Why can't I be happy?
I torture myself
It's so hard to be me
I'll try to be somebody else